teenagers

[runkid]

does anyone feel that teenagers today are out of control and have any ideas why

No, not mine anyway. I think they have always been as they are. It's a hormone thing. They can also be tremendous fun and the debates you can get going with them are so much more interesting than talks you have with little children. Every generation has had its criticism of teenagers. Today they seem more focussed on getting into university than the free love pot smoking 1960s children or whatever. Sensible lot.

No, the media portrays them that way though.

My 14 yr old ds and his mates were in our house the other day all wearing "hoodies", and i thought, if you believed what you read in the papers about deliquent youths and saw them all together in the street, they would look like proper hooligans, but in reality they are all really nice well behaved polite kids who wouldn't hurt a fly, hate bullies and stand up for what they think is right.

Can't believe everything you read in the daily mail! ha ha!

I think we're rather changed the thread... but even if you go back to Shakespear you'll find people knocking young people then right on through to teddy boys and beyond. "The youth of today".... are never like we were. I suspect in reality they are pretty much the same. One thing that helped us was making sure they had lots of interests and things to do.

the trouble with my dd is that i cant get her todo anything.so its very tough love from now on until she gets the message

i dont think that hoodies are a problem its just want kids wear today it doesnt make them bad. the media tend to tar them all with the same brush its sad really.there are alot of teenagers out there with problems though and everyone seems powerless todo anything about it.i only know this because of my dd and some of her friends that she has actually aloud me to meet they often go missing and get ito trouble with the law etc it seems terrible to me and the parents ihave contact with are at the end of there tether about what they can do.

Tough love is right although difficult in practice. Teenagers need to learn to take some responsibility for their actions.

when I mentioned hoodies previously I didn't mean I thought kids who wore them were bad - I meant it as an example of how the media portrays them and so it follows that a great many people also hold this view.

I work with homeless young people and the majority of them are great kids, they just need the right support to make the right choices. The problem is some young people aren't taught the skills they need to make those choices in the first place.

We try to get our young people as involved as possible in what's happening in the local community as that seems to give them a sense of belonging and we also run a number of schemes to get young people engaged in sport or drama as a productive activity that gives them something to focus on

i'm 24 & 5 months pregnant and i still wear a "hoodie"! darn it, it keeps me warm!!! although, i gave my seat up on the bus for an elderly lady the other day, and she tutted as she took it! i think old people are much ruder than teenagers.....guess it depends on the old person. and the teenager.

teenagers have always been trumped up so and sos imo

good thing really as they bring a fresh perspective to the world iykwim with all the movements and expression in music etc

they think they are know it alls

but once they hit the big wide world

they soon come a running
as they dont know what has hit them

also i think alot of it has to do with no-one will sit and listen and chat to them
I do all the time, and get no crap off the gangs of teenagers

you have to have a young outlook too imo, as understand some of their spiel and txt speak
their needs and their wants

I personally think they are great

I certainly don't think what's in the media about most things is anythign like accurate. They'll print what sells papers and a lot of parents through all generations have liked to find teenagers appalling and that will never change. I think they need to go through a stage of parental alienation in order to achieve their own separation from parents. Certainly it's helpful to keep your distance from them at times.

Hi Runkid. Yes my 15 year old dd is out of control one minute and absolutely adorable the next. Well she's always adorable and obviously love her to bits, but she's an absolute nightmare a lot of the time. The problem i find with her and many other teens (and younger) is that they don't have any fear anymore. The respect for adults was lost long ago, probably when discipline was stopped in schools, and then we as parents don't have any say either. When she started high school i noticed a difference straight away. Other kids were saying to her "hey your parents can't do a thing, you can do what you like, just phone social services bla bla bla!" and of course they lose where their boundaries are because they feel in control. I'm not sure about this human rights stuff, part of it's right because there are alot of abusive parents out there, but what about us who just want to teach them some respect (and self respect)? I'm a single mother, and my dd doesnt have any siblings. she recently stopped having contact with father as well, and so I feel there's a mixture of all these things that causes this frustration with her today. Especially the lone parent thing, a child soon learns to realise how far they can push with one, with two parents i guess it's not as bad. saying that though, I'm proud of what I've done so far, and in my situation believe it was a far better choice than if it was with father too. Now i get the running away from home business and recently the police explained to her "yes we can keep bringing you back, you can only stay at a friends if your parent agrees it is safe for you to do so, if she disagrees and you still run away them we have to involve social services who will decide for you. that will mean putting you into childs home 20 miles away from here". She was stunned for a few minutes, i think she was well up for living in a childs home, doing as she wishes (or so she thinks), but moving away from friends...oooh no! hehe so...that's where we're at at the moment and it's pretty calm for now. Sorry for waffling on, just wanted to explain our story- yes they're out of control and for most of it i think it's because we're not "allowed" to be parents anymore :-(

I absolutely and totaly agree i get the same responses she just says "what you gona do nothing cos you cant" its bloody frustrating isnt it. My story is practicaly the same as yours exept i have a ds too

ooh i really sympathise! how old is ds? are daughter's worse though, what with all the hormones too? (not that i'm thinking of having any more!)

DS is two and i hope to god all this upset doesnt effect him to much

I hope that too for you. See how the meeting goes Friday, maybe once she's settled with somekind of activity (study) during the day it may help, a little, or at the least she'll be too exhausted to argue.

Peaceathome,DD went to her interview she refused to let me go but she came back very positive i was amazed and very happy

Hi runkid. Maybe that's good news then. Have they come up with a solution for her? Like I said before, my dd always wants to do things on her own - be independant etc - and without the parent there sometimes allows them to say exactly want they want. I know when i am there often my dd will rebel or say the opposite of what she wants just for affect, even attention. It's hard to let go when they do the things they do for us, partly, well for me anyway, i don't think I can wholly trust her anymore. Well fingers crossed for you both. I think when we last talked about this it was in another thread and I mentioned my daughter struggling. Both you and Molesworth gave me some great advice/options. Anyway, this week was my daughters first day back at school and it didn't go too well. I phoned the school and careers advisor there and gave them hell. They managed to drag her into a room for open discussion. She came home feeling so much more relieved that she will get extra help. She's still unhappy about going but hopefully it may boost her confidence and she may try to accept there could be some hope of achieving. What a rollercoaster this is hey?! We're brilliant mums and we love our kids so there isn't much more we can change. I'd be interested to know your outcome of the interview. I've got a feeling that my dd probably won't keep this going at school, so always handy to know what likely options are available.

well dd is very enthusiastic and says she cant wait to start at the unit she will be taking gcse art,maths,english,drama and she is going to do painting and decorating and hair and beauty very encouraging.There is only four or five in each class which will be good for dd she isnt good in big groups.

That sounds really positive Runkid, I hope things go well. Four to five in a group sounds much better. I hope things start to look up for you both at last.
(p.s. saw you've set up your forum now, it's looking great. Will try and post something soon )

Thank PAH i hope that your dd sorts things out to