What Should NRP Provide During Contact - Please Help.

[nea200pl]

I am long time lurker but first time poster. I have separated from my STBExH after almost 13 years together (classic example of LTB) and we have 3 years old Son. I had to go to CSA for maintenance and he wants to have our Son for only one night a week.
There are many, many issues with my husband I am trying to deal with but biggest one at the moment is with providing during contact time he has with our Son.
Each time I have to pack pyjamas, change of clothes, socks, pants, potty taining pads, even toothpaste and toothbrush as he doesn't want to provide them! I am really getting fed up of this. Is this normal? Before he expected me to provide nappies, wipes and milk but I put my foot down on that. He has no toys or books for our Son either, so I pack those as well.
I am trying to explain to him it would be better if he had those things for our Son at his place so little one knows he has permanent place there, not drag bags of stuff each week....all falls down on deaf ears and excuses - he pays maintenance, he forgot to buy, he has no money, he this he that. He knows I wont let our Son go without and will pack bags for each contact, he even guilt traps (sp?) me.
What do I do? Please advise?

He should provide everything. He is your DS' parent as much as you are and should behalf as such.

My son comes to me with the clothes he stands in and has everything he needs at my house. Which means he regards my place as `home' rather than somewhere to visit.

From what you've said it sounds like your ex is lazy. Get him to join Families Need Fathers and try to suggest that you should do everything!

Thank you so much!
This is what I'm trying to get accross to him - for our Son to have home there as well. I will show him your answer.

I think you need to decided what you will providing..Tell him you expect him to have a toothbrush , toys and books ..

Tell him you will provided it at access then when you collect him tell him this is the last time you will provide them.

However clothes as it is only one night you may well be better providing as it means your clothes will come home.

I am afraid if you don't provide the books LO will soon find something else to occupy themselves and soon toys will be provided.no training pants ( I am assuming for night.)he will soon buy after a few changes of bed ..

It isn't nice to think of DS going without but it will only get harder as he gets older if you don't put your foot down now

Generally I agree with the PPs on here. But when ex first moved out I cleared out some bits (books, toys etc) from DS room - he had too much anyway - and passed them over as a "goodwill" gesture. It didn't do me any good as a goodwill gesture but did help with the clearing out and DS had some familiar items at the new house. I don't do it any more.

I think that sounds a perfect thing to do tiredandsadmum . I think at the end of the day the difficulty is we want our kids to be happy no matter where they are and hope Ex's think the same way..sometimes they don't sadly

I send clean clothes. They have pajamas there.
I'm also going to buy some toothbrushes this week as I've just ound out a couple if weeks ago that they haven't had any there for months! Apparently they broke when they were on holiday (last summer ffs). I don't actually see why I should provide them, but as he's had months to replace them and hasn't then I.will. I'd rather spend a couple of pounds than have them not brushing their teeth.
Last year he asked me to provide suncream, which,ike the toothbrushes, I shouldnt have to. But the alternative is sunburned dc!

My phone just ate my message. Thank you all so much for replaying! I am taking all advice and opinions on board.
I had long think about it this evening. I don't mind sending clothes, socks and shoes. I just want him to provide pj's, pants and toilet training pads for underwear that our Son is using.
He hasn't got many toys and few favourite he won't go without like his teddy bear or lego bus so toys will also be packed. I guess what upsets me is bare minimum and no effort from his dad. And silly behaviour - for example when little one clothes/socks/pants get dirty he won't pack them separate (I ask to do it every week and send extra carrybag for that) just stuffs them with clean ones. Just to spite me.
And he has to provide toothpaste and toothbrush.
I am putting my foot down as of today. He has whole week to get those things and I told him so. And no more excuses, he had £600 to give to one of his ow he can find few extra pounds for child essentials. But it will be uphill battle as when I send him link to this thread I got message what is my problem!