I've reached the end of my tether with my husband and am thinking of divorce. We've been married just over a year and we're together for 8 years with a 2 year seperation 2 years ago.
We have a 4 year old DD and a 2 month old DS.
When we split the first time DD was just a year old and didn't really notice the change-he wasn't a very involved parent. He was very difficult then about visitation-insisting on coming to the house or spending time all together as a family. He nearly always wore me down to agree to this.
He was staying at various family and friends houses and then a room at a disused commercial building so was never able to have DD over with him. He also refused to make routine times or arrangements siting his work being freelance was too difficult to predict.
I think I agreed to get back together as I felt I was with him all the time anyway so might as well! Also obviously wanted to be a family and for DD to have a resident father.
But now the problems we split over then are back-verbal abuse in front of the children and not helping at all in the house or with the children.
So what kind of visitation should I be aiming for? What would be best for the children? He can't do over nights as he won't wake up for the baby for feeds-says he can't..never has with either. Sometimes DD wakes in the night also and he always just shouts or tells her off. And also it's likely wherever he stays might be unsuitable.
I'd rather not have them go to contact centres. I know he'll want to come and see them here..
Should I insist on just having them for outings-park/swimming etc?