Is not kissing ex when 2yo asks us to going to cause problems?

[AnyaP]

Hi, my tyo is begining to ask that mummy and daddy kiss each other when we say goodnight to him and give him his bedtime kiss. My husband and I separated six months ago, all amicable and he is around a lot to help with bathtime, meals, playing etc and we never row or show any hostility to each other in front of ds . Will the fact that he doesn't see adults showing affection towards each other cause long term issues - any ideas?

[Chandra]

I don't remember my parents showing much affection to each other when I was a child, apart of the usual bye bye kiss from time to time. I don't think we got any issues as a consequence, at least none that I'm aware off.

It may be the case that he would like to be reasured in someway that everything is fine between mum and daddy. But, I wouldn't worry too much about that, after all, you both are teaching him a very good life lesson, that you can be nice and polite to each other even when you don't get along anymore.

Keeping the things fine for your DS is a great act of love, it is so easy to get in the negative dinamics of a separation and many times the persons more damaged by that are the children. You are avoiding that, and I'm sure your DS will grow to apreciate and respect that very much.

[AnyaP]

Thank you so much for your reply, it's great to hear positive advice when it's so easy to dwell on the negative and we're all so good at beating ourselves up about our parenting skills - so much that it's possible to lose the focus on the most important fact that you are there for your child and that is the most important thing.

[Chandra]