How to tell 3yo we're moving & practicalities

[From3to2]

Hello, I'm new here & so sad this is my first post.

My DP has recently told me he wants us to separate. No OW and no big rows, just no physical/emotional intimacy anymore. I initially wanted to try to work things out but he isn't interested & reckons it's been dead for him for much longer than me. I am sad/hurt but can cope with that for me but feel devastated everytime I think about the future for our 3yo.

Circumstances dictate it will be me & her that move out, probably in the next month. So any advice on how & when best to tell DD ? And how to make the move as easy as possible for her ? Should I get it completely all ready beforehand, or try and find something to involve her in? All I can focus on at the moment is should I decorate her new room similarly to her old one & take some of her current bedroom furniture so at least it feels familiar for her, or will that be just more confusing when she comes to stay with him? Any other useful advice?

Thanks in advance x

When I moved with DD who was a bit younger than yours, I kept talking about the new house. If you can visit it/drive by etc a lot then that may help get her used to it. I also put a lot of effort into her room. I asked her what colour she wanted it (purple) and we got her a new big bed (single) which also meant new sheets. Hers was the only room that looked decent a week after we moved! You could keep everything else the same but have some new exciting bits for her too? Trying to keep all of their things accessible is important I think as DD seemed to think I had taken away all of her toys when I packed! Seeing her face light up when I opened the boxes was a little saddening as she must have thought I was throwing them out!

Oh and DD was much more interested in unpacking the boxes than helping me pack - so I'd say you may need some time on your own to do that part!

Thanks - hadn't thought about that, but yes, I definitely think she'd enjoy helping with unpacking (her toys & books etc anyway).

Can I ask how long did you tell you LO before you actually moved? I don't want it to be sudden shock but don't want her to have enough time to get worried about it either x

I knew I would be moving for well over 8 months, so I told her straight away. We also read the Three Little Pigs a fair bit and one of the first things she said was "This is good house, the big bad wolf can't blow it down. Made of bricks!!" - not that our old house was a mud hut or anything . Perhaps some books on moving would help?