Can I change my youngest' surname???

[oopsadaisyme]

My youngest 4 years old, his dad left us 4 months ago, and changed his own surname (for professional reasons apparently), has no contact, nothing, just gone.

He's with someone else now, but still he has the other surname, different from me and my eldest, and now even different from his estranged 'dad'.

How can I change his surname to mine and his brothers???

Yes I do know the law clearly your LA did not.

Any organisation that holds information about a child is meant to share it with all parents with PR this information should solely be about the child and not involve information about the other parent there are a few exclusions that are child protection related.

I appreciate and acknowledge that my experience is based on the polar opposit of yours, but I have had years of having clients who have had to obtain prohibitive steps orders supported by child protection social workers so they can stop a child being collected from school by an abusive parent solely for power and control reasons where the child has been placed directly at risk of harm. And I have only come across one school who refused to hand over a child (plenty that have attempted to delay so the other parent or police can get there).

These are usually the same NRP's who demand every single scrap of information is posted to them despite the information being readily availible on the schools website because its not personal to their child forget that the child's personal information should not include the other parents.,turn up at parents evenings without booking a slot then start being aggressive to staff.attempt to refuse consent for the child to take part in school activities just because they know it winds the other parent up,and want school photos without wanting to pay for them.and like to shout lots and loudly about their rights.

For the record my solicitor told me that I could change my daughter name without permission or court order.

I think he knows the law.

yes, we can all have a race to the bottom...but the point of this thread is how can the OP change the surname, lawfully...What some OPs have advised is the surname can be changed unlawfully...It's there in B/W in the Childrens Act.

My experience of abusive NRP' is not much different to lost dads experance of abuseive RP's its just the bottom of very different piles of differently sized shit.

It very much depends if she's just wanting evidence of comon usage or an actual children's act order most people don't understand the differences.

needsasock yes, I was going to keep XP's surname as their first surname then add mine. I need to pluck up the courage to fill the forms out and spend the money on it don't I .

lostdad there is no need for the DC's to have a different surname to me, and certainly not a surname of a 'parent' they will never know. He wanted nothing to do with them and I would like that very obvious link of being their mother.

CAB say :

"There is no legal procedure which must be followed in order to change a child’s name, providing all the people who need to give their consent have done so."

So no, if the absent parent has PR and has not given consent, as in the OP's case, a solicitor cannot just change your child's name even if he reckons he can.

When an absent parent is proven to be un-contactable you can actually. Also consent does not have to be formally given providing you have told your intention and there have been no formal objections.

My daughter's name has been changed. I have a statutory declaration which I wrote and has been notarized. You can say it can't be done as much as you like, the fact of the matter is that it can be done and it will be accepted by professional bodies. There are several on this thread who have done it all of who live in different areas of the UK.

As far as the NHS, private childcare, school, passport office and bank are concerned that is her name.

Here's a good link.

www.deedpoll.org.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName.html

I have never even been asked to produce a letter along side my DD's deed poll and neither has she.

And given that anybody can just write their own (obviously all a deed poll is is a written acknowledgement of public declaration with a notarised or appropriate persons signature witnessing your signature) then it's a very easy step to by pass.

Granted if someone with PR raises an objection it's incredibly easy to stop you using it

As explained in this post it's unlawful to change a child's name without consent from all those with PR for a child;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/a1539224-Change-of-forename-to-include-my-last-name-is-it-possible

See also;

www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/118592/childr-applications-change-name.pdf

STIDW is spot on.

I've known more than a few cases where a parent has (unlawfully) changed their DC's name because they have remarried and want it to match their new spouse...and then divorced the spouse and changed their DC's name again.

The court takes the position that the surname of a child is an important part of their identity. My personal view is that whatever a child's name is it should be stuck to - be that the father's surname, a double-barrelled, whatever.

Lostdad why should it be stuck to? Surely when the NRP isn't involved it makes more sense for the child to share the surname of the family actually present in their life?

Lostdad - My personal view is that whatever a child's name is it should be stuck to

Why?

My DS has my surname so when I changed my surname he should be stuck with a name nobody has?

That's BS.

Debates about the whys and wherefores and personal stories aren't particularly helpful. The bottom line is when parents aren't married, the father isn't on the birth certificate or hasn't acquired Parental Responsibility by any other means a mother would be able to sign a statutory declaration and change the child's name by deed poll. If a father has Parental Responsibility his consent or permission from the court is required to change the child's name.

IT is always best to obtain advice about a particular situation from a local family a solicitor. The internet is full of people with their own axe to grind and myths. Some posts may provide a good source of information, advice, guidance and support but often the information, advice, and guidance can be unreliable, or plain wrong, sometimes with disastrous results.

IF your ex has Parental Responsibility and won't agree to change a child's name and you can't afford a solicitor it is possible to make your own court application for a Specific Issue Order. The form, C100, is available along with notes and a list of court fees (EX150) from the Ministry of Justice website. IF you have no/low income there is also a form to apply for an exception from paying the fee. Barrister Lucy Reed's book "Family Courts Without a Lawyer" is a useful resource.

Personal views don't count for very much and the only opinion which is binding is that of a judge after weighing up the evidence at a final hearing. IT is an uphill struggle changing a registered name - see the House of Lords case Wearmouth v Dawson where the child was registered in the name of the mother's first husband rather than the name of the father;

www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/ld199899/ldjudgmt/jd990325/dawson1.htm

Nonetheless permission to change a name may be granted if a after has been absent for sometime (years rather than months though) and it is thought better for a child to have the same name as the rest of the family or safety and protection issues may justify a change of name etc.