Ex forcing me to sell house

[GEM33]

Does anyone know if my ex who wasn't married to me but jointly owns home with me can force me to sell our house that I live with our child in? What's the deal with this?

The difficulty is that whilst the mortgage remains in joint names you are both jointly and severally liable, which means if you don't pay the lender will look to him to pay in full (and vice versa).

Another important factor to consider here is his debt. You need to ensure that if he does transfer his share of the house to you it needs to be done for a fair value. If he decides to declare himself bankrupt, the trustee in bankruptcy could apply to set aside the transfer if it was done at an undervalue. For instance, if his share was £12k but he agreed to take £5k the trustee could argue that he was £7k short on monies which could be used to pay the debtors.

Legal advice is essential to ensure everything is above board and handled properly.

I would take over the mortgage and apply myself. That's what I wanted and what he initially agreed to. That he would stop paying any money. I would get mortgage in my sole name and the equity he had in house would basically be a lump sum child maintenance so in fact no money would ever pass between us once that mortgage was in my sole name. If that makes sense. That was our mutual initial agreement. I wasn't going to ever ask him for money as long as he walked away from the home as neither of us could afford to buy the other out. It was just an easy solution we thought.

What should I do now. I don't know what to do. I can't cope with ongoing battles. This is so unfair. I loved him. I thought we were happy. I had no idea. He left me out the blue. Found out he got someone else and now he wants me and his daughter out the house. In 3 months he has literally ruined my life and completely and literally pulled the rug from under my feet. I'm struggling to get to work now he has withdrawn child care on my shifts. He really hates me.

He's obviously selfish idiot. You're best rid of him.

However, I understand why he changed his mind from the original agreement he made with you. It would have been a very silly move or him financially to sign the house over to you in return for you promising to not claim maintenance. His solicitor probably told him so. The agreement would be worthless legally and you could have totally screwed him over financially at any point.

So, what do you do now? Have you approached mortgage lenders and attempted to get a mortgage in your sole name in order to buy him out? This would have to be enough to cover the full mortgage and extra to pay him his share of equity (12k I think you said) ??

Has he actually made an application to Court yet to force the sale or is it all talk at this point?

I think that if I were your ex, I would refuse to offer my equity of the house in exchange of not paying child maintenance because:

1. I would be left with no money I could use for a deposit for a new house and...
2. you can ring the CSA at any time to get them chase him for child maintenance, even if you agreed not to seek child maintenance payments in exchange of his part of the equity.

Obviously, you can try, my exP's wife offered such deal to my ex when they split, he agreed. She got the five bedroom former marital home, left him with no part of the equity, and rang the CSA to chase him for payments... I'm sure he is still kicking himself about it, but he is a very decent man, he did it so his son didn't have to face more changes after the split.

BUT... Do not panic, make sure you do the following first:

1. go to entitledto.org.uk 's benefit calculator to see if you qualify for any help, even if you get a little bit to help you with child care costs, that is a little bit you can put towards the mortgage. Unlike the direct.gov calculator, the entitledto one gives you a figure for the year while the direct.gov one, only tells you how much you will get for the rest of the financial year.

2. make an appointment with the lone parent advisor at the job centre, and apply for everything you are eligible to apply for ASAP, as even tax credits can take a few months to be approved.

3. make an appointment with an independent mortgage advisor. They will be able to get the best deal for you, and you are unlikely to have pay them for the service as they get a commission if they close the deal. Don't bother checking banks one by one, I almost lost my house thinking that all the banks would offer similar deals to the ones I visited. This was far from being the case.

I'm sure that if the mortgage advisor cannot find a deal to help you stay at your current house, at least he will give you a clear idea of how much you would be able to get in a mortgage, and that may be more than what you expect.

It also might be possible to argue down the amount of equity. What percentage would a local Estate Agent take as commission? What would Solicitors fees be? If the property had to be sold, these would be deducted before the proceeds were split.