I really need some advice please from people who understand. I have a lot of lovely supportive friends & family but when I talk about this problem with them I get the feeling that they are thinking 'oh here we go again!'. Just feeling a bit alone on this issue.
I conceived my son on a bit of a drunken night out with a friend. When I told him about the baby, he wanted nothing to do with it. We managed to get through this when X was about 9 months old & he started to play a role with regular contact. I got on well with his family... Until around 2 years ago. I do not for the life of me know what happened but it started to fall apart. He did not pay child support until a year ago. Apparently this was my fault because I never asked!
Anyway,he pays now & still gets regular contact (2 nights per week).
The problem is, whenever he does not get his own way,he becomes verbally abusive through text message. Mostly in a passive aggressive way but I am now at a point that when I see his name on my phone my stomach flips & I am jittery.... Waiting for the abuse! I have stupidly engaged in a reply but not in an offensive way back. I do now try to ignore him & have told him only to use my number to arrange handover & in emergencies. He keeps ignoring this! To top it all off, I get the same from his mother!
Tonight I have found a letter written to me in my sons schoolbag making demands for items that they will take for my son when they take him away for a few days. The letter is written in such a tone that is very rude, I just don't feel I deserve this! I am so accommodating but on the 1 time out of 100 I don't accommodate their demands, I get hell.
I am quite a loud, outgoing person & they are quiet (until you really get to know them) I feel that I will always come across as the big bad wolf & they are the little lambs to the outside world.
Please can someone give me some reassurance & advice about how to handle this?