housing thoughts/worries...

[RussianBlu]

Just wondering if anyone is in a situation where they are working (or perhaps not) and paying rent but also getting help towards it. If you have children do you think about or have any plan of where you would live once they become too old for you to get child tax credits and part of your rent covered? I think I am mainly asking lone parents with children who live in private rented (and fairly expensive) homes who don't earn a huge amount of money because I imagine this will affect them more than others, though I could be wrong!

Thanks for your time.

When the DC are out of full time education - either, DC will still live at home and pay board (a fair board + an amount per month for you to save to put towards a deposit on renting their own home)

OR

You'll live home alone - imagine, no sharing the bathroom with stinky teenagers and being able to buy food without it being eaten by your teenager and their 100 friends that seem to know when you've been shopping and will either have a stylish studio apartment or go travelling and live like a student.

All of your salary will be for you, and you'll have the pre-children lifestyle again.

Unfortunately, our DC wont have the option to come back home once they've left. They also won't have the advantage to save up a deposit for their own place by living cheaply at home as previous generations have done.

It seems quite awful that once they get to around 19 (or whatever the cut off age is) that you pretty much all pack your bags and go your separate ways or you rent a studio/1 bed flat together and probably live off beans on toast for a good while. Sezamcgregor, you say all your salary will be for you..... I think virtually all of it will go on rent, leaving almost no money at all. It really will be like going back to be a student. What joy having to share with a load of people again for the rest of your life!

For some who have young children, surely this is not all doom and gloom. Do you imagine being in the same job for years and years to come or will you do something about your situation? Study, change jobs, go for promotion. If you believe that you will be in this kind of situation, then you will. If you believe you won't, then you won't, as you will have a goal, make a plan and achieve.

When I knew my marriage was on the rocks, I started stepping up at work and taking on more responsibility. My plan was to get a promotion and earn more money, so that I could pay the mortgage and bills alone. I worked my back-side off, didn't get a promotion with the same company, but used that experience to get a better job else where. I am now happily single and can pay the mortgage and bills.

My current plan, is to get promotion again in the next 2 years (as I have another goal), so I am doing a qualification over the next 12 months that will enable me to apply for jobs to get that promotion. I have taken on some extra responsibility again at work, to get some good experience for my cv.

It's not been easy, but it is do-able - with a positive attitude and a clear plan.

It isn't always quite as simple as that though. I don't know that you can just decide you are going to get promoted in 1 year or 2 years of whatever, but you can always hope and work towards it.

In my job there is no 'promotion'. I would have to go and study full time for a year to go up a step in my current job. This would mean leaving the job to study full time. I would have to take out a loan to pay for the course and then figure out where the living expenses money would come from. Financially it just isn't doable. I have looked into it many times. I would have to totally look at a different job in a different field. I have thought about this many time too and am not quite surely what I would be able to do. Is it possible to leave a job, find a new one (that pays a heck of a lot better but doesn't need any specific qualification) and be up and running within a month or so in order that money doesn't get messed up? I'm not so sure.

Yes, its good to want better and to try harder but it isn't always as easy as that. So yes, I think for a lot of people it is a doom and gloom forecast to be honest.

I've already got two degrees but because I took 8 years out to bring up the DC (due to XH's demanding job) I'm struggling to find a job. My experience and quals seem to be out of date in my field and I seem to be considered overqualified for admin assistant jobs. I'm retraining part time at college but will never earn enough to save for a deposit when most of my wages will go on rent.

Planning for promotion and studying isn't always practical though. You need children that sleep (and behave!), time to study in the evenings (I tend to start around 10pm), a flexible employer and good mental and physical health. It doesn't take much for the whole house of cards to come crashing down.

I think also Lucy, perhaps you already had a mortgage and had one from a time when housing costs were reasonable? I have no idea where you live in the country, how much you earn and how much your mortgage is but in many places there isn't a hope of getting any kind of mortgage. If you needed around £800 absolute minimum for a 1 bedroomed flat would you still be able to manage?

I did already have a mortgage, but I wouldn't say that I bought at a time when costs were low. My house is worth no more than when I bought it 9 years ago and the mortgage is the same.

No one said it was easy - I haven't found it easy, but I had to try. I could have sat back and come up with lots of reasons why I couldn't do it and then I wouldn't. The key is looking at what you can do, rather than what you can't.

I will get a promotion in the next 2 years, as that is the plan. If you want things to happen and are positive about it and have a plan, it can happen.

I just wanted to inject a few positive thoughts into the thread. If the whole thread is full of posts where people share all their negative thoughts and reasons for still being in the same situation, then where does the change happen?

Actively seek out other people who have had some success and over-come all the hurdles of being a single parent and learn from them. I've done this at work and found people who have done well, asked their advice, found out how they overcame these kind of difficulties and emulated some of what they have done. That is unless you don't want any advice or positive stories and still want to be in the same position in 10 years time.

To answer your question Russian - yes I would manage £800 for a one bedroom flat - but only because of the plan I put in place 6 years ago.