Help!

13 replies

susie766 · 15/08/2006 12:32

Hi all i'm totally new to this, a friend told me about the site. 2 weeks ago my partner of 8 years walked out its not the first time he's done it but this time i know its the end for me. He was very controlling and blames me for all our problems i know i'm better off without him but i just dont know how to go on alone. I have 3 kids and its left them very confused. He has alienated most of my friends and family and i'm just very scared of life alone.
If anyone has any advice i'd really like to hear from you (sorry if this has rambbled a bit i'm still quite upset)
thanks
susie x

OP posts:

earlgrey · 15/08/2006 12:39

susie, I've no advice, but someone will come along soon and give you loads. Just didn't want you to feel forgotten.

Original poster

susie766 · 15/08/2006 12:46

thank you its nice to know someone is out there x

OP posts:

Bugsy2 · 15/08/2006 12:52

There are lots of single mums on here. Have a look around at some of the threads in the lone parents section & you'll find lots of good advice.
Do you have any specific worries? Have you got housing and that kind of thing sorted out? What about financial support - will your x-partner contribute to the children's upkeep?

earlgrey · 15/08/2006 13:26

Quootiepie · 15/08/2006 13:28

oh dear, not many replies. Where abouts do you live Susie?

mistressmiggins · 15/08/2006 13:37

am at work but will be online tonight Susie if you want to chat
like Bugsy says, lots of us in same boat or been there with advice & support

Lasvegas · 15/08/2006 14:35

susie sorry this has happened to you. It happened to me also a few years ago and believe me after the initial shock and sorting out the practicalites things do work out for the best. What are you scared of in particular? I am at work but it is slow day so am around to help you think aloud if you want. Try and take each problem one at a time and take each day one at a time. How old are your kids?

d1155650849377b000010 · 15/08/2006 15:38

hi
I'm new to the site so just dropping a line to say hi.
I've been a single mum to my daughter for 3 years and am now pregnant again - and on my own again!!
Must admit i'm finding the idea of bringing two up on my own a bit daunting.

Original poster

susie766 · 15/08/2006 18:05

HI my biggest issuses right now are the financail side and the way he is treating the kids!! my edlest girl beth is 7 and the twins are josh and caitlin 6. He has left me to deal with all their emotions and mine its a huge weight and i feel like im caving in!! He seems to have just cut them off not a call or visit in 2 weeks they are so mixed up the only contact is abusive texts. i'd just like to take back the control i've lost and regain so self respect

OP posts:

BrookeandTaylorsmummy · 15/08/2006 18:12

Hi susie, sorry to hear about your situation, my exdh left me a year ago when I was pg with ds and we had a dd aged 8 months, he dropped us of at my grandmothers and never came back, he has not seen us since and has not met or acknowledged our son. I know my situation is different from yours and you could say in some ways I am for want of a better word luckier in that the children are unware. I just wanted you to know that there are people on here to give advice and support, I can try and give as much support and advice you need or just be an ear you can rant at. Am on mn most evenings when the babies are in bed if you want to chat. x

Original poster

susie766 · 15/08/2006 18:16

i'd love to chat but im new to this and not sure how to ive got msn?

OP posts:

Turqumseh · 15/08/2006 18:19

Hi Susie, As he has been emotionally abusive and controlling, and has isolated you from your support network, you may find that someone on the women's aid helpline will be a sympathetic ear and possibly have some constructive advice.
Just by accepting that this time it's final and that you are on your own you are taking control, it's daunting I know, but eventually it will feel easier to face than being with someone who belittles and abuses you.

Lasvegas · 16/08/2006 16:00

susie - here is a suggestion. Seems that the kids are very confused about where dad has goen, why he has gone, when and if he is coming back. What about saying to them that Dad is unwell at the moment. Not physically ill but ill in his emotions/in his feelings. He is unable to deal with his life at the moment so he needs to be alone to try and get better. Try and get on with life as you would if he was away on business for a few weeks. It will buy you a bit of time. If his txts are horrid maybe just delete them unread, no point letting him get to you.

Flip