advice needed.can i stop my ex introducing his new gf to our kids?

[mumandlovingit]

long story (see my other thread)
basically i need advice as to whether i can stop my ex introducing his new girlfriend/informing the kids of his new girlfriend until they've been together for a while?
he only left us a week ago and has got a new girlfriend.the kids are already messed up enough with him leaving.there's no way they'll cope knowing he's already replaced me! alo she's got children of her own.he hasnt got parental responsibility over the children but im obviously giving him access to the each week and keeping him in their lives.i just dont want them anymore upset than they already are.can i stop him? someone said that i can stop him from interoducing etc for 6 months/a year incase the relationship doesnt work.anyone been through this?
cant stand the thought of him with someone else but puting my feelings aside, the kids cant cope with all this at once, they're not coping well now.their behaviour has changed and i keep getting asked why daddy doesnt love me anymore etc.they are 5 and 4.
any advice would be great.

quite agree Mumandlovingit

I dont want to enter an argument with anyone over this but it is hard to accept the other woman with your children to begin with
I have said many times and know this to be true that if my ex was with someone other than his mistress, it wouldnt be an issue

we're only human & it doesnt make us a bad person or mean we're not doing right by the children - we're just saying take things slowly and just see the children without HER.

if he really cares about the children he will do this until you're ALL ready

hugs

mistressmiggins

agree completely.my children havent even got used to him not being here with us everyday or not being with me let aone being with someone else.if it was 6 months after and he's met someone it's be hard but after they'd been together a while i would force myself to try to get the kis to meet her etc and get on so visits are easier etc but with it being the perso he lied to us about, left us for etc, there's no way that's going to happen.not being nasty but i honestly ant see it lasting very long.deep down he's with her rebounding.his parents dot wnt to know er, his friends dont want her round their houses.it not just my opinion! just been sorting out more of his things for when he's got a place so he can take them.its hard.they seem to take up more room now than they did when he lived here!stil got photos n wall in house of him with me and the kids.hard to look at but i dont want to take them down because of the kids, even though the kids were really little in the pictures.

feel really proud of myself.when ex was here yesterday i told him i done want him placing anymore catalogue orders for his gf wilst the catalogue is still registered at my address.no problem after up to him but not while its here still.just looked on internet and he's ordered more things.phoned him and he acted like he didnt care how i felt and didnt really say alot on the phone so i told him as soon as hes got somewhere hes taking all his stuff from mine and that he treated me like shit when we were together and he's still doing it now.hes taking the p out of me and everyone can see it.told him she'll take him for what she can get and leave him and when that happens im not going to be here to pick up the pieces.told him i gave him the chance to leave her and work things out with us and he turned it down so its up to him now.i want him to come see the kids and have a good relationship with them but other than that i dont want to know anymore.cried my eyes out.i feel so hurt etc and it hasnt sunk in yet that it's finally over with us.we've got so much history together but suely after all this there's no way of ever trusting him again etc.

he'll be annoyed as ive rang the ctalogue up, told them ive already rung them once and that he keeps ordering goods but he doesnt live here aymore and they've put a stop on anymore orders until he's changed the adress.

Good for you mum, its the only way to go, whilst you dont want a fight on your hands with this one it is only sensible to take a precautionary measure to protect yourself.

I would be proud of myself too, cos you know taking the control of the situation he has created will make you feel tons better, if handled carefully and respectfully. iykwim

ex has now left his gf and has realised just what he's lost apparently.he wants to try to build up our relationship over time and really change and sort himself out with a place and job etc and try to make us a family again over time and me happy.i'll have to wait and see what he does from now on and just try to live my life and keep me and the kids happy and if he does do it then i'll have to see how feel about him being in my life again relationship wise and if he doesnt at least i havent sat here waiting for him to sort himself out and wasting my life away.
has anyone recovered their relationship after this sort of thing? i know she wasnt the only reason he left but thats the part that is eating me up inside and knowing he wanted someone else instead of me, even if it was only for 2 weeks.

No, keep away from him, he sounds like a comlete tosser !! ~Why would you want him back if he was so happy to run off with someone else???. you are better off on your own, he will only run off with a different woman next week. if you took him back it shows you have no confidence in yourself and he will see you as a doormat.
you can do better on your own!

we've got two children together and this is the first time that ive even known about him even eyeing someone else up let alone seeing someone else.i know deep down that there were other reasons for the split and that she was just one of them.i think she gave him attention at a time when we werent 100% and he was flattered and thought it was something more.it obviously isnt as he's left her after only 2 weeks& she certainly isnt very happy about it.im hoping that over time the feelings that i have now will fade and that he'll realise just what he had with me and the kids and will do his hardest to make things right again and work on the problems that we had.i know trusting him will be really hard and there's no way he'll be moving back in anytime soon but im hoping that over time things will get better.people learn by their mistakes and im hoping he's going to learn from his.if he keeps making mistakes and doesnt try to sort things out properly then there wont ever be a chance.i'll just have to wait and see what happens & what choices he makes.has anyone else taken back an ex and made things work and happier from it?

bump for you mumandlovingit
there are a few ladies on here who have managed to take back their partner when they've had full blown affairs lasting longer than 2 weeks

it can be done
I would have made a go of my marriage but my ex didnt want to & I asked him to leave 8 weeks after I found out about the affair - hes still with her now

in fact, I would start a new topic as this one is now no longer relevant

I think I may be the odd 1 out here. I left my x 4yrs ago. There was nobody else involved, I just knew I had to. When he entered a new relationship, we agreed that I wld meet the GF first and be there when she met my daughter for 1st time. That way we avoided secrets making my daughter feel split loyalties. I'm v lucky, the GF is more responsible than my X, & is even the 1 who takes time off work if she's sick and with him (he lives in Ireland). Ours was a 'no fault' situation, which makes this approach possible and I'm sure that, much as it frustrates me to be civilised, it has been in our child's best interests.