Feeling so low

[starlight1234]

My son (6) is going through a phase...We have been through thembefore and will again ...I know it will end at some point.

I am just so tired and fed up....He is the centre of my world..I look forward to weekends, spending time with him as he is at school all weekend but at the moment all I want to do is cry when I see him..He feels so distant from me....

I try the new day new start and it just goes back to same behaviours,attitude... I have tried the talking about issues punishment, ignoring him...

I just feel like walking out the house and not coming back ( obviously I know I can't).

I met a friend last night and went to soft play and had a lovely time as he didn't really talk to me he played with his friends...

He hasn't seen his Dad for years so only break I get is when he is at school and I am then working..

I am not depressed before anyone thinks that is the problem I am just so tired of groundhog day..different day same shit

What kind of issues are you having? Is it around specific things like having a bath/ tidying his room/ limiting screen time etc ?
Or behavioural issues ?

I know what you mean about different day, same shit. Is there anyway you can carve out some time for ourself to re-charge your batteries - a sleepover maybe?

Have you tried having a special time with him each day, give it a silly name and build up the anticipation. He gets to choose whatever activity he wants for you to do together, as long as it is not dangerous. Also can't be a solo activity like him playing a game on your phone. Giving him that sense of control over your time for 20 mins might help you enjoy each other a bit more?

Its more his whole attitude..He lies about anything..no even reason for it..even told me he was in trouble at school and wasn't , was the only one who got hardly and snack at beavers, sometimes it is to get out of something..have made sure he has got praise for telling the truth... He is just ignoring me when I tell him to do something...He feels like he is a million miles away from me..

I want to add this is not how we normally are..He is generally a good kid, has his days, I have no idea why he is been like this...I have tried talking to him but not sure he even knows...

He does get an awful lot of attention but has always had an unsatiable desire for attention that can't be filled..

I can't really call on any of my friends right now..Most are having problems of their own for very different reasons...

I spoke to his teachers..he is fine in class and basically said it is not a school issue so its all down to me..which makes me feel even more shit and completely isolated...I have no family by the way

Does your DS's school have a school counsellor you can ask to speak to? He may be good at school and saving up his naughtiness for you but it still impacts on home life.

You don't know why DS is playing up but recognise that it's a phase. He can't yet verbalise what goes through his head. I don't know when you became a single parent but if your DS is going through challenging behaviour then he could be working out frustration. Ask at your doctor's surgery if there are any local parenting groups running. There's no shame asking for tips on managing behaviour or parenting techniques.

I have been a single parent for 5 years..Left his Dad due to DV when he was 10 months old...

He hasn't seen his Dad for 3 years..I looked into counselling for him when he was 5 as he was struggling with not seeing his Dad but all services had been cut..He now seems fine with the no father thing...

DS creates these dramas to keep attention on himself. He gets loads of positive attention but wants more. Simultaneously, like kids his age, he is pushing boundaries, testing your credulity; he feels safe with you so he will explore and experiment with your responses and reactions. He fibs and knows that one way or the other you will engage with him.

Keep correcting him to get him out of the habit. You just have to keep at it until he stops telling the first embroidered tale that comes into his head. Does he know the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"?

Have you have discussed with DS the definitions, ie social lies (lies told to not hurt people's feelings i.e. No you don't look fat in that) as opposed to lies to get himself out of trouble or to deflect blame (i.e. That boy did it).

You have the internet at your fingertips and it's a great way to find other single parents. Have you looked on MN Local and on Netmums for activities in your area? If you make new friends with other LPs you can trade baby-sitting.

Thank you Donkey... We have done the boy who cried wolf...He was bullied at the beginning of yesr 1 now year 2 and I have related it to the fact everyone knew he was telling the truth but now people would question if he was lying....They did about white lies at school...

He has spent much of today in his room...I felt so sick of trying and trying...He came down this afternoon and we discussed how miserable he felt and I pointed out this is how mummy has felt all week....etc etc...We talked about if he is unhappy about anything at home or school... How I miss the boy I enjoy spending time with...

I do have lots of friends but no other single parent friends which may well be something I do need to look at..

He seems to have had a more honest conversation than I have had in a week,, I keep saying there isn't a right answer only the truth as I think he wants the simple answer to make it all better...

So yet again we are starting again...We have had a dance and now watching Peter pan...

We have had a dance and now watching Peter pan...

That's great OP I really hope you both work through this.