Bit of advice please

[angelpinkcar]

Have been separated for over a year now. EXH pays the maintenance has OW who he was seeing before we split but can never prove it. He has been messing me about for 12 months in relation to when he has DC's. I have tried everything to try and arrange set dates and times, I have even said that the DC's can meet the OW and stay at her house if need be if it means they see their dad. Apparently he needed to speak to her to arrange it all. Then I find out that he has gone away on holiday with the OW for 2 weeks when he was meant to be having the DC's prearranged. There is no court order in place in relation to childcare arrangements but it has meant I have had to work less hours at work to accomodate his lack of contact. I have had legal advise and they said before I can go to court I have to go to mediation which of course I will have to pay for. I take it that OW wants my EXH but obviously not have the DC's as well and wants it all her own way. So would love any advice or what anyone did in the same situation. As at my wits end what to do and it really upsets my DS when he doesn't see his dad. So the contact they do have with him seems to upset them as its not consistent and is very sporadic.

Arrange mediation and take it from there. It's not an uncommon scenario unfortunately but the bestbyiu can hope for is that with a third party mediator he will start to realise what his priorities should be.

Is it expensive?? I have a few numbers from the solicitor and think I will ring them on Monday.

God these OW stop at nothing to get what they want the only thing that keeps me going is that EXH has had so many horrible things happen to him over the past few months and he deserves a holiday with his slapper I mean girlfriend, his words, I nearly got the mini violin out, I have heard about some of the things that have happened to him and I did smile, good so karma does exist.

Unfortunately the system is were a parent can be forced to hand over their child to an idiot parent but the idiot parent cannot be forced to have contact with their child.
Your solicitor could draw up an agreement if you think he'll sign it, at least then if he doesn't stick to it you'll have more of a case in court. Also keep a diary.

Thank you, a year on and I still feel all over the place with far too much on my shoulders, does it get any better???

I would apply for mediation.

By the way how do you know that it is the OW who is the problem and not your ex making excuses?

You may able to get legal aid for mediation. I know there is no legal aid available for court now but I think it's still available for mediation (I may be wrong -try checking in legal)