What is a lone/single parent to you?

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Meaning, to you what exactly does the term mean?

I define myself as a single parent because I'm a single person and a resident parent.

I recently had a conversation with another parent who described themselves as a single parent and it confused me a bit as their child is resident with the other parent not them.

Totally up to them how they describe themselves but I was quite interested in how the term is perceived by others.

I don't think it was the single parent bit that confused her.

why do people care they be deemed Single Parent? Why does it matter?

Why do some assume ownership over the term?

I don't quite get this either.

If the children don't live full time with a parent, they're still a parent.

And if they're single, they're a single parent.

Or should they say on a date, I'm a parent and I'm single. Or I'm a non resident parent? Which I don't think a lot of people would know what that was.

Thankfully, as a father who is single and parents my D, in the ways most parents parent(you know, feed, clothe, entertain, read stories, take to nursery, pick up from nursery, take to doctors, take to dentists, arrange childcare, clean up car sick, nappies and all that, take to birthday parties, go to softplay/swimming/parks, take on holidays, etc, etc ) I have never had cause to refer to my self as a Single Parent - even on dating websites or when chatting up eligible young women.

I don't know why chips but that made me really laugh

I describe myself as a lone parent for both children.. Dd has contact with her Dad who pays maintainance & ds who's Dad chose not to acknowledge him & does not pay maintainance.

Putting money aside the hardest part for me being a lone parent is not having the emotional support or share of day to day responsibility for the children.. Even for dd it feels like I carry 98% of responsibility for her well being & happiness on my shoulders. (Only to get harder as she sprints towards being a teenager)!! It's a lonely life hence my use of the phrase lone parent.

But I wouldn't consider her Dad or a non resident parent who has less than 50/50 care a single of lone parent.

It's not about the time a child spends with either parent it's about what that parent does for a child & trips to play centres & McDonalds are not the real crux of parenting, however reading with them, making sure homework is done, making sure they are doing ok at school, have friends etc... The list is endless & day in day out is exhausting.

My D only gets to go McDs once a year, me and the ex alternate(just like xmas)!

It might not go down too well but I think there is a difference between being a single parent and co-parenting... Just my opinion.

I agree bad.

Co parenting to me suggests dividing time and tasks and responsibility equally like a 50/50 or not far off it.

...I'll see your co-parenting and raise you parallel patenting. ..

?parenting?

Sock I agree with you on this one. It isn't something that particularly bothers me, people can call themselves whatever they want but to me that is what it means.

A single parent to me I think describes parents where there has been a relationship breakdown but both parents are still involved in bringing up their children.

However once either parent meets someone else and that person is not 'single' anymore they cease to be a single parent.

A lone parent is someone who is raising their child completely on their own with no input from the other parent and no partner - that would be me then!!

My ds' dad does have contact with him, eow, but I do ALL of the actual parenting. I class myself as a lone parent/single parent, my ex may also be a parent but I'll be damned if he's going to have that label as well. He hasn't, and doesn't, put in the work to deserve it.

For me, a single parent is someone who is single (ie no partner at all. No current relationship) and has children. That is all. Even an ex who doesn't do anything at all is technically a single parent if he doesn't have a new girlfriend. It's a silly term really, with so many stigmas attached.

Ah right I see. It's true that a father/mother SHOULD do some actual PARENTING to deserve the term parent but lots don't!

I remember a while ago while browsing the horrible site Plenty of Fish, one guy had written on his profile 'This site should be called PLENTY OF SINGLE MUMS.' I took offense to this and told him so. It's a horrible term and 'single parent or dad' is just as bad.

I would take it to mean someone not in a cohabiting relationship raising a child/children. I think a date or two or a boyfriend not committed in any way still makes you a single parent.
It doesn't mean a non resident partner because parenting is not their primary role. In the same way my mother won't be called a "single mother" despite always being my parent because actually, that's not her role anymore.
Ex's would be "single, with children" unless it's a 50/50 split IMO.

I agree with your mum reveal.

I wouldn't describe myself as a single mum or lone parent if my children were no longer children and did not need parenting.

Im a LONE parent as I have NO ONE at all in the world, just DC and me.

no support, no other family, no contact from sperm guy (court order and stuff), no maintenance.

So am I not a parent if my children are living with their fathers? Part time parent? I never would have considered myself giving up being a mum simply because I don't have residence of my children. I still mark myself as a single parent, without resident children.

I'm new to this site (well a new member)...

I would consider myself as a father, on the definition that I have always been a father and played a role in my sons life from day -9 months.

My agreed access to my son with mum was I have had him every weekend which we extended to every weekend and one night in the week as well.

It was not 50/50 by virtue of one night but still I considered myself as a father and his mother as a mother.

The definition of Lone parent never really makes sense to me unless you are truly that. Parenting on your own without the child's other parent in the life of that child at all.

For the record I now have residency of my son and his mother has less contact than I did prior to getting residency but I still consider as as both parents and equal in responsibility. I never created my son alone and while myself and his mother are both alive we are not lone parents.

and for the record also we do not have an amicable relationship, we have been through bitter battles but lone parent to me means raising children ALONE.

:-)

Why is the definit

Single is not about relationship status, it's about bringing up kids on your own, surely? I am bringing up 3 DCs while Ex lives in France. I asked him to leave the family home in UK when the marriage became impossible, and he went back to France, where he's from. He says he misses them badly but barely sees them. He cannot be called a single parent as he only has them for the odd holiday.