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5 replies

moshimummi · 21/01/2014 19:48

I dont know what to do, my current arrangement is that my ex's mum collects the dd from an arranged place for 5 hrs every 2 wks. She is now saying she cant do this due to working full time and its going to be the ex that collects her. The problem being that my ex suffers with depression and has told me of trying to kill himself by driving into oncoming traffic in the past. He hasnt had contact with dd for 8 wks until last weekend due to depression again so has lost the bond with his dd and she has only just stopped having emotional issues (crying) when we put her into grandmothers car. I have been advised by CAB to write a letter stating my concerns but as the grandparent works for social services I feel like she knows how to get round things. I understand what she is trying to do for her son to get him out of his depression by being involved in his dd life and he is still allowed to collect his other 3 children from previous relationships but as he is still depressed and angry at me I dont feel I can trust him with dd until they have formed a bond

OP posts:
lilyaldrin · 21/01/2014 19:49

Do you feel there is a risk he will try to kill himself and your DD in the car?

balia · 21/01/2014 20:39

Well they won't form a bond if they don't see each other and if you won't let him drive her you'll have to drop her off at his. Does she never cry with you?

Sorry - I know it can be really hard to deal with an angry person but people with MH issues can be excellent parents.

moshimummi · 22/01/2014 19:56

Im not denying people with MH issues can be excellent parents and I dont feel thats the issue, I am worried about what will happen, as every parent should be, and I dont want to be another news story which due to my ex's having severe depression last wk as much so that his mum asked me to to text me to tell him what an amazing dad he is, turns into a tragedy. I too have post natal depression/SADS so I know what its like. Its just the protective mummy coming out in me and I need advice so please positive advice only x

OP posts:
lilyaldrin · 22/01/2014 19:57

Do you feel that he poses a risk to your DD then?

moshimummi · 23/01/2014 19:45

I really dont know and thats the thing, do I let him have her and then hear the worst or say no til they have built a relationship and he can be trusted. I dont know what to do and hes in a bad place mentally and Ive seen how bad it it but Ive got his mums word he would never hurt his kids. I think Id swear that my child was ok about my own kids just for them to see their kids in the off chance it will help my own kids see them but I really dont think Id allow them access without me. Really dont know where Im at

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