Does anyone feel not taken seriously when you're a single parent?

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Im a lone parent yet anything official- school/doctors/etc etc never seem to take me seriously!

Why? cos I don't have a partner and they know it and so know I don't have anyone to bak me up so I feel bullied?

cos Im on income support (Im a fulltime carer for disabled DC)
or because DCs disabled they think shes a waste of time? (and Ive had that one before) ?

cos Ive got a stupid face or something?

does anyone else feel like this or similar?

Nope, lone parent here and am taken seriously, but I expect to be. I don't think anyone would consider bullying me, I certainly don't need a man to back me up.

It's about confidence, if you are unsure of yourself then people will pick up on it. Fake it to make it if you don't have the self-esteem currently. Write down what you want to say so you don't get side-tracked. Make sure you get your point across and don't let people fob you off. Keep at it. You don't have to be confident for yourself, you have to do it for your child.

I do a little.

I think it's more the fact that people expect women to take more verbal shit/disrespect easier and you don't have a bloke at home you might 'report' to.

Sounds paranoid but I honeslty think that can be the case sometimes.

Agree with you orchard. exactly.

Enb its not so much the not having a man thing, and yes I do struggle with self esteem, but I do try my best to at least appear confident.

as DC cant speak for herself I have to be her voice and they think im just being 'precious'.
but they do know I have NO other help at all in the world and that's what they use.

Im not being neurotic and paranoid here btw, I even had a friend (whos got a husband) point this out to me.

Ah, well I get cross and bolshy at that point and make myself a pain in the arse until things get sorted out. If you know you're not being precious then you just have to keep fighting. I imagine it's bloody hard going and I empathise.

Put it this way, you are your child's knight in shining armour. Pretend you have a magic sword. That sword is your protection from idiots who belittle you.

I ha

Oo

Oopsy crazy phone! I had a sales guy come to the door once to try and convince me to swap electricity suppliers. He was doing well until he stated that he could come back and speak to my husband if I wasn't sure of anything.

I don't think he'll make that mistake again ever

I am a single parent and no one would dare not take me seriously.

Hmm this is interesting. I feel like I'm disrespected for being a single parent too but I suppose it's true- we have to demand respect don't we?

Think it depends where you live in the country for example people who come from a large city will view matters perhaps rather differently than a rural village, in general I should say! What I mean is it depends on how rich a life experience people have had and whom they have met.

it is about confidence.
i really dont think being lone parent ahs anything to do with anything. unless you perceive it that way yourself...

also in siome cases of dual parent family in any case its only one aprent who takes on tehe world as it weer espec when it comes to disabled dcs...

try and find some self assertive training, look at carers support in your area, sometimes they run workshops for carers which can boost your self esteem and espec in terms of standing up for your dc

or ask your gp to refer yout o nhs counselling and tell counsellor that you want to work on self esteem and confidence they can give you tips and strategies

No, I've never felt like that. I think it must be a confidence thing. I'm pretty good at keeping any insecurities hidden if needs be. Am older than the average LP though and confidence is definitely something that's grown with age for me. I don't think many people, except friends obviously, are even aware i'm a LP.

At this point I will add I am disabled myself and have to use a walking stick, implying to many that a walking stick = disabled brain.
maybe that's why.

Honestly OP, just hold your head high and look people in the eye when talking to them. I know it must be awful to feel judged but I wouldn't know because I take no notice of other people's opinions. All that matters is that you know you're doing you're best for your kids.

I do my best! I know Im my childs spokesperson. Ill walk on hot coals for her.

I do say 'just cos you see a stick doesn't mean im stupid/just cos im a lp doesn't mean my child doesn't get a full family life/'I didn't ask for my child or myself to be disabled, I have no choice but to be on benefits etrc etc etc.'

mind you programmes like benefits street don't help do they?

Well no, don't watch these programmes myself though. Honestly though, the people who judge you are the ones with the problem. As a LP of one with no disabilities to factor in, I would have nothing but respect for you. Ignorant people aren't worth the headspace.
But do feel free to put them right .

There is huge prejudice against single parents and lots of people look down on us. There is a sterotype that many people believe to be true. I know that for sure. You can't read some newspapers without becoming aware of that.

Unfortunately some people make themselves feel better by putting others down. When anyone tries do that to me I just think of them as being less understandng, in touch and empathic than myself and think they will have to learn one day about how to treat people. Then I avoid them. If I can't avoid them I mostly ignore their attitude and see it as their problem not mine. Just rise above it.

agree, happy.

and yes its all about confidence too, but I do find I defend the reasons im a lp. (very abusive relationship where both me and DC were abused and why we are both disabled).