I feel like my son hates me

[cazdent32]

My ex husband and I split up last year, he didnt see the children (his choice) between august and october at all and only occasionally before that. He is now seeing them about twice a month. He wont talk to me and is always arranging contact through my 7 year old son. My son wants to go and live with his Dad, he has told me that there are no rules at Dads house, he can watch films that are 12 rated (I dont let him do this as hes 7 and I have 2 daughters who are 5 and 3), he can play on the ps3 as much as he like and dad buys him anytihng he likes. Some of the time, things are fine at home, but some of the time, they are unbearable. My son understandably doesnt understand that we dont have much money (and Im not explaining that to him at 7) and constantly answers me back about what food I dont have in the house, about when hes next going to see his dad and just about how awful I am to him.
I am finding myself really struggling to keep my temper as whatever I say or do doesnt seem to help at all. I have contacted the school nurse and am waiting for her to get back to me. My partner (who doesnt live with us) says I need some one on one time with my son, but I dont think my son is interested in that and im not sure a couple of hours when I can get someone else to look after my girls is going to help that much. I am thinking about keeping him up later (at the moment they all go to bed at the same time) and spening half an hour with him each eve. Any suggestions would be amazing as im stuck.
Thanks x

hi caz. i`m going through the same thing as you. my eldest son is nearly 10, me and his dad split up in the NY. he misses his dad vmuch and keep bringing up that his dad loves him more because i don't let him do the things he want. eg playing computer games for house on end. his dad is very leinient and he would let them do what they like. each time its HW time he would bring it up and say he'd rather live with his dad. all i could suggest is that try and be patient with your ds. he's still very young and he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings. like my son he to is rude and doesn't listen he acts like a two year old. still having crying/tantrums. i just think kids need more time to adjust to changes. spending more time with your ds would benefit him alot. remind him you love him every day

hi caz. i`m going through the same thing as you. my eldest son is nearly 10, me and his dad split up in the NY. he misses his dad vmuch and keep bringing up that his dad loves him more because i don't let him do the things he want. eg playing computer games for house on end. his dad is very leinient and he would let them do what they like. each time its HW time he would bring it up and say he'd rather live with his dad. all i could suggest is that try and be patient with your ds. he's still very young and he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings. like my son he to is rude and doesn't listen he acts like a two year old. still having crying/tantrums. i just think kids need more time to adjust to changes. spending more time with your ds would benefit him alot. remind him you love him every day

hi caz. i`m going through the same thing as you. my eldest son is nearly 10, me and his dad split up in the NY. he misses his dad vmuch and keep bringing up that his dad loves him more because i don't let him do the things he want. eg playing computer games for house on end. his dad is very leinient and he would let them do what they like. each time its HW time he would bring it up and say he'd rather live with his dad. all i could suggest is that try and be patient with your ds. he's still very young and he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings. like my son he to is rude and doesn't listen he acts like a two year old. still having crying/tantrums. i just think kids need more time to adjust to changes. spending more time with your ds would benefit him alot. remind him you love him every day

hi caz. i`m going through the same thing as you. my eldest son is nearly 10, me and his dad split up in the NY. he misses his dad vmuch and keep bringing up that his dad loves him more because i don't let him do the things he want. eg playing computer games for house on end. his dad is very leinient and he would let them do what they like. each time its HW time he would bring it up and say he'd rather live with his dad. all i could suggest is that try and be patient with your ds. he's still very young and he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings. like my son he to is rude and doesn't listen he acts like a two year old. still having crying/tantrums. i just think kids need more time to adjust to changes. spending more time with your ds would benefit him alot. remind him you love him every day

sorry. im not sure what id press but it has come up too many times. your son don't hate you. he's just saying that to get your attention. im sure he loves you very much because you're his mum.

sorry. im not sure what id press but it has come up too many times. your son don't hate you. he's just saying that to get your attention. im sure he loves you very much because you're his mum.

Thanks! Do you think a little bit of time every eve when his sisters are in bed would help? I know that would mean he was staying up slightly later but its the only time I can gaurantee (awful spelling sorry) that I can give him...

yes. that would help and it will make him feel special if you can get your youngest 2dc to sleep first. i think in time he will realise that you are always there for him. he knows you will always love him and he will in time have less outburst. im having trouble controlling my tone of voice. i think i can get too loud when my ds starts having his angry attitude towards me. im learning to be more understanding and actually listening to his opinion before i interrupt.