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Original poster

What do you do if.......

48 replies

myusername111 · 13/01/2014 20:54

you are being accused of getting pregnant on purpose and not taking my pill!!! Thats what his ex did and now he thinks I have too!! He doesn't want to be with me anymore and am resisting temptation to ask him if I wasn't pregnant would you want me then because I am afraid of what he might say.

Anyway I just wondered if anyone has had the same thing happen to them and did they come round to the idea? Also seen as we are now apart and he won't talk would you update him on babys progress? Really do not know how to handle this at all! Please any ideas welcome.

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2014 15:48

Does it never occur to these blokes that if you were going to plan to trap someone,you would not pick a deadbeat twat

Original poster
myusername111 · 27/01/2014 17:18

Thank ladies. I am feeling bullied into doing it to be honest. I have thought deeply about how he feels and the impact on all our lives but still cannot bring myself to do it. Other child came about when she allegedly got pregnant and lost it and she got pregnant straight away on the coil....which I do not believe she ever had 1 fitted. This was all in 6 months!! He shouldn't have been stupid enough to go back there as this woman has previous for pulling stunts like this. So I suppose I can understand but I aren't her and our relationship isn't (or wasn't) a flash in the pan like that 1. At best he is very immature and having his other child as much as possible, (forsaking everyone else every time) is his main priority in life. Not exactly stable father material but whats done is done.
I am just wishing for a healthy baby x

OP posts:
MikeTheShite · 27/01/2014 18:05

you sound very brave and strong! good for you!

sock is right, shes one of wise words. im not sure she recognises me under a nc but I appreciated her advice very muchWink

Original poster
myusername111 · 27/01/2014 18:50

Thank you miketheshite (love the name) heehee. Anyway I am trying to be brave and strong and am putting myself first...........for once x

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 27/01/2014 18:55

Op chances are everything he has told you about the ex is a lie,it's what people who like to blame everybody else for there own short comings do.

Think about it this way if someone really had done that to him would he really not take responsibility for his own contraception after?

Mike,I have no idea I have this thing where I don't try to figure out name changes as people often have very good reasons for you not to.but I'm glad I've helped you

Original poster
myusername111 · 27/01/2014 19:07

He does blame other people you are right on that score and all I can say to that is this girl has a reputation and in all fairness he was getting the snip until we both agreed to see where our relationship was heading and if children would be part of the plan. I do welcome your refreshing honesty though. Its nice to hear some straight talking :) x x

OP posts:
MikeTheShite · 27/01/2014 19:16

mumsnet is rather a wise place I find. glad to hear your putting yourself first!

socks- I changed for a change. I was pickles Smile

Original poster
myusername111 · 28/01/2014 18:07

Here we go again...........my daughter has told his daughter and thats my fault too!! A load of abusive rubbish again today. God when will it stop?? Only when I admit to doing it on purpose?? Even though its not true??? Urrgghh :(

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 28/01/2014 18:16

Easier said than done but ignore.

Original poster
myusername111 · 28/01/2014 18:35

Thanks love. Think he is off his hinges to be honest

OP posts:
MikeTheShite · 28/01/2014 18:36

it can't be hidden forever, ignore him

Original poster
myusername111 · 28/01/2014 18:39

I'm this that and the other. Why oh why would I want to have a baby to a man like that???? I don't even feel it HIS baby........just mine now. I know that sounds bad

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 28/01/2014 18:46

It doesn't sound bad. It makes complete sense to me at least.

It's time for him to grow up and stop throwing his toys out the cot. But he isn't your problem.

Original poster
myusername111 · 28/01/2014 22:34

Thank you all!!! Wish there was a 'like' button for your comments x x

OP posts:
GreenRedBlueYellowPurple · 31/01/2014 09:48

'If I was going to trap anyone it would be my ex as he is on twice his salary' LMAO! You're smarter than me!

Twinkleandbunty · 31/01/2014 20:24

Mike think I remember you - our situations were very similar. We've both name changed!

OP, same thing happened to me after a 4 year relationship Hmm
I did it alone, and it's been hard, but I wouldn't be without my DS for anything. He's the best thing!

You will be fine - promise. My ex had an OW who he moved in with when DS was 12 weeks old, but she's now lumbered with him and I lucked out and got a fab little boy!

Original poster
myusername111 · 01/02/2014 17:55

Will you humour me for a bit? Been really ill again last few days and started feeling proper down about it all. Am at the stage where I am fast losing sight of why I am in this predicament. Having doubts about everything and have started making excuses up for his behaviour in my head iyswim? Started thinking I am being selfish. Help me focus?? Pleaase :(

OP posts:
MikeTheShite · 01/02/2014 18:17

your not selfish. You know that because you love him you will do this excuse thing, im doing it now because im ill and very lonely, it normal its what emotional abuse does. try to think about your end goal Smile

Original poster
myusername111 · 01/02/2014 19:07

I wish I didn't love him to be honest. Be so much easier. You are right.....again lol. You know how it feels to just miss the good bits and not be able to remember the bad?? Just missing him full stop and feel so pathetic x

OP posts:
MikeTheShite · 01/02/2014 20:45

im like that this evening nearly two years on (warning) so I've called a friend over laden with Chinese.
can you do something similar Smile

Original poster
myusername111 · 02/02/2014 12:14

I had a friend round last night it was a distraction. I have found out that he has been on social networking sites whilst we were together. Thats added to the dating sites I caught him on. It provoked an all out text war with him saying he wants dna test!!! seriously wtf??? I am getting lower and lower in my mood.

OP posts:
MikeTheShite · 02/02/2014 12:15

do something to pull yourself back up, he's wanting you to feel like this

Original poster
myusername111 · 08/02/2014 08:58

Well looks like any hope of having a grown up conversation is out the window. I am blocked from texting or emailing him apparently. He is like a baby and I am sick of it. That is something a teenage boy would do surely? I said you claim to love me and stand by me through thick and thin so clearly you lied! He said he doesn't give a f* and never to contact him again. It doesn't bother me that I will be bringing this baby up alone it bothers me that our whole relationship was based on lies. I am absolutely heartbroken
Thanks for listening

OP posts:
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