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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

What do you do in the evenings?

23 replies

Really1 · 13/01/2014 19:22

DC go to bed around 6:30pm and then it's just little ole me... I do have friends pop over once in a while but most of the time I'm in on my own all evening. I don't mind my own company at all but there's only so much corrie I can watch & I'm just glued to my iPad on mumsnet most of the time- I feel a bit blughhhh doing the same thing.

What do you all do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Hithere123 · 13/01/2014 20:03

Oh I hate the evenings. I'll usually do the soaps while on here and go to bed early. I'm starting a collage course in September so that will keep my mind occupied I hope. How long have you been on your own...im hoping it will get better?!

queenofthepirates · 13/01/2014 20:05

I run an online shop to make some extra money. I also teach crafts from my kitchen so I have lovely people come and visit and pay me to come over so I'm never lonely.

I wish I had more time for Eastenders though but can't complain!

Minime85 · 13/01/2014 20:27

I'm on mnet a lot just lately. I work too as I teach so I mark and plan in evening. I sometimes cook like make soup to then have for lunches at work and freeze. or bake. sometimes just sleep I'm so tired! but mostly I'm on mnet or candy crush Smile

Really1 · 13/01/2014 20:51

My stbxh left nearly a year ago. I was seeing someone for a few months in the summer but I finished it not long before Xmas as I didn't feel right about it. So not really had too much time alone to complain really!

How long have u all been on your own?

I'm glad it's not just me on MN & early in bed!

OP posts:
DukeSilver · 13/01/2014 20:54

Clean up the mess then sit with a slightly shell shocked look on my face normally :o

Watch a bit of TV, browse the Internet, hang out with the dog and go to bed before 10.

Sparklysilversequins · 13/01/2014 20:55

As they get older, they go to bed later so you don't have so much time. I study with the OU, play Sims on the PC, Ironing, watch recorded programmes. I love my evenings actually.

Ledkr · 13/01/2014 21:02

You do get used to it.
I was lucky I had older dc to watch the little one so I went to the gym a couple of evenings.
Also had a mate to stay occasionally for wine and chit chat.
I used to have a long bath with a book and yes plenty of early nights.
I'm remarried now and often miss being on my own.

Meglet · 13/01/2014 21:10

Once 5yo DD has settled down, which can be up to 9pm (Sad) then I mnet and eat my dinner. Bit of laundry, get organised for the next day. I'm about to start my third OU module, the package is looking at me from the corner of the room.

5yrs now.

Foxy800 · 13/01/2014 21:11

Usually sit in front of the tv after tidying up and doing uni course too so that fills some of the time too.x

Lonecatwithkitten · 13/01/2014 22:44

I learned to crochet I've made blankets, gloves, hats, scarves, Christmas decorations. Look at this blog for inspiration. Currently I am creating an epic blanket for DD's bed it is giving me great joy knowing she will snuggle beneath something I have lovingly craftedSmile.

Hithere123 · 14/01/2014 20:22

My DH left me just before xmas. I'm also 25 weeks pregnant so know I should be making the most of having some time to myself before a crying baby is here. But get so lonely. im trying my best to get my hubby back but to no joy so far so looks like I need to start making the best of it. I ordered some fabric to make DD some curtains last night but ive never done them before!!

Ledkr · 14/01/2014 20:28

hithero how awful for you.
Dd was only 8 months when my x buggered off.
It was very hard but it all turned out well in the.end for dd and I.
Hope it does for you.

Really1 · 15/01/2014 23:50

Sorry to hear that hithere123 :(
I hope things get better for you stay strong x x

Lonecatwithkitten I have actually just started crochet on the suggestion of a friend. Surprisingly I've taken to it pretty well and am now starting to make a very simple blanket with a stripe in. It's defo giving my mind something more to do than sit on MN or watch tv! X

OP posts:
Lonecatwithkitten · 16/01/2014 00:07

Really look at the Attic24 blog I suggested wonderful ideas and she gIves great tips on yarn. I am currently undertaking an epic ripple blanket.

Sasquatch75 · 16/01/2014 18:28

My exh left 5 months ago and to start with I had friends over a lot. Now it's down to once or twice a week. I have 3 DCs, aged 2, 4 and 7. The youngest has been a nightmare to go to sleep for a couple of months now! Think sleepovers with exh have been affecting him. Anyway, he often doesn't go to sleep before 8.30pm...

I clear and tidy up, put the telly on for noise really, and do things like sew beaver badges on, speak to mum on phone, paperwork maybe... Every other night I have a shower as it's a lot easier than doing it in the morning when I'm trying to get the older 2 ready for school. The 2 year old dresses himself quickly and easily. Why can't the others??!!!!

Pippinlongsocks · 16/01/2014 19:16

I make things to go on my online shop, sometimes it involves the sewing machine, sometimes some hand sewing. tend to have tv on in the background so often just listen to programmes rather than watch them. If I did just watch I know I would be asleep on the sofa quite quickly!! This time of year is difficult as the nights seem long. Looking forward to Spring and making a new garden and being outside more, getting back into my running. For me the key is to keep busy otherwise it can get a bit lonely.

daisystone · 18/01/2014 16:24

I have been separated for 2.5 years now. As my DD was so small when it happened (8 months) I spent most of the time dealing with her crying and her broken nights. She is a rubbish sleeper. To start with I spent the time drinking too much wine and crying but not any more. I am not with anyone. I am flirting with the possibility of online dating come the summer. I did it a little bit of online chat about 18 months ago but could not commit to actually meeting anyone. It was too soon for me. Now I would love to be with someone who is kind and who I can trust but actually getting to that point feels like too much of a fag. I am a lot more settled now and my evenings previously were boxsets of MadMen, Boardwalk Empire and Breaking Bad etc with crisps and wine. Now I have given up booze and sugar to loose weight, I don't stay up very late as I get tempted! So I go to bed and read - the weekend papers or a good book. Sometimes I take my laptop and do some browsing or watch something on the iplayer. I start a new job on Monday so want to be well rested and fresh! I am concentrating on healthy eating and losing weight and generally treating myself right so that I am feeling good about myself if I do want to start dating in the summer. I don't mind the evenings now - in fact I quite like them. I don't watch too much tv as I find sitting on the sofa and telly surfing a bit depressing. I would prefer to have a bath and listen to the radio or read.

Thetallestsunflower · 18/01/2014 22:54

I have been a single mum for about 18 months through my choice. To be honest I enjoy my evenings to myself so much as when I was with my abusive ex I used to dread him walking through the door after work.
I now spend evenings either on the Internet-I am studying Beauty Therapy so spend a lot of time on a forum related to the industry or I read or watch the soaps or do college work and text friends. Occasionally family or friends pop round but I actually prefer being on my own lol-I do usually like to have a night out on a Friday or Saturday though xx

muser31 · 19/01/2014 07:58

i just tidy up and go to bed exhausted.... i have to get an early night since dds sleep isn't great. i read sometimes or go online. i seem to lose motivation to do anything when she goes to bed!

Lioninthesun · 20/01/2014 13:35

I love the evenings alone!
I watch iplayer or Netflix, read whatever I like, dance around kitchen to music while doing dishwasher, email friends/catch up on FB, mumsnet and any hobby currently on the go. I made 7 felt animal hairclips for DD one night while watching a film and docu on iplayer - felt really relaxing as well as productive. I also love looking at Pinterest and Houzz - although my house building time is now nearing it's end and looking at new things to do has a tendency to leave me annoyed if I can't now include it Wink It can be really good for looking at craft ideas with DC or sorting a jumbled corner into nice boxes etc. I always end up still awake at 1am and wishing there were more hours in the day!

Enb76 · 20/01/2014 13:38

I've been a lone parent for 5 years

So evenings… hmmm

I am doing an OU degree so that takes up some time, I play sport one evening a week, I batch cook, when it's not so dark out I do evening gardening and slug watch. I listen to an audio book while tidying, put the washing on, I watch TV from about 9pm to 11pm and then it's bedtime.

ManateeEquineOHara · 20/01/2014 13:45

Mostly I work on my Phd (interspaced with Facebook and browsing Internet trash), the cat tends to snuggle next to me, I often do a bit of Pilates, occasionally some housework, and from time to time make use of the tv. I love my evenings by myself though :)

ShowMeSaturn · 30/01/2014 22:29

I've been a lone parent for 6.5 years now.
I left the children's father when the youngest was 4 weeks old.
We never lived together as a family, he'd just shack up temporarily whenever he felt like it then return to his house wheId annoyed him too much or our toddler was distracting him from sitting on my computer 24/7.

I've lived alone with my two children for nearly 5 years now. Wow Shock that makes it hit home actually.
I sway between sometimes hating the evenings - looking up rubbish on the web, watching Corrie and Channel 4 trash, etc. I get all my house chores out of the way during the day.

I used to be a prolific reader, but when the children were younger it was impossible to sit down and engross yourself in a book when you knew you could be disturbed at any minute.

Lately, perhaps coinciding with a new relationship, I've found myself missing something I never had, which sounds nonsense I know!
I miss the perception I have (because I've never had the reality, I left a DV relationship with a man who didn't want his children) that evenings are cosy, relaxing times to be spent vegged on the sofa going over your day's trials and tribulations with eachother, the good and bad, work stress, family gossip, dreams, obv as well as cuddles and canoodles where appropriate.

I miss not having someone to share my days with. My memories. I feel lonely, to be honest, as if I'm half living my life because there's nobody to reflect it all back at me with :/

But the solution is to distract myself better I suppose. I really ought to be doing something productive, perhaps reinstate an OU course I started years ago, even though the subject isn't going to help much when I return to work. I can't see a degree in Environmental Science being much use on the checkout at Poundland. That was a long time ago actually, as an aside does anyone know if there's a window for reinstating your course??
I am also inspired by some posts above employing people's creative skills. Food for thought.

I'm currently jobhunting. I imagine I'll just be too knackered when I start work to do anything but collapse on the sofa of an evening anyway!

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