Hello, I'm new to the group and would love other mummies opinions on the following as I'm completely at a loss at the mo!
I have a 16 month old and I'm unsure who his bio parent is.
He was born 26/09/2012 (which was the due date I was given) via induction. I was with a long term partner "Guy A" between 2009 and the end of 2011. We had been separated due to his work and the distance was exceedingly difficult as I was ready for the home, child, life together and we had been seeing each other for a few days a month here and there over a year. December 2011, he turned up at my door on Christmas Eve after I had called it off due to it being too painful to carry on and we had unprotected sex (call it taking comfort and being in love/heartbroken) in the shower and then in bed (he didn't ejaculate inside of me but came close and stopped and he did ejaculate around my downstairs area. I can't remember if he put it near there again afterwards which is where I am stumped. We had sex on the Christmas Eve and the Boxing Day Evening. I was bleeding at the time although unsure if it was a period or a general bleed as my cycle had been all over the show for the previous year with stopping and starting the pill as it was messing with my skin. And I would have been 4/5 days into my "period/random bleed" when we did. We had a huge argument about the relationship before he left on the 27th December and stupidly, I threw myself into the arms of someone who I had known for years "Guy B" who had been chasing me for months and I had ignored it and decided to act upon it. Guess I thought it would heal me and help me move on. We spent the full first week of the New Year together from New Years Eve 31st and the 8th Jan. I had unprotected sex with him "Guy B" on the 31st and nights thereafter and he ejaculated.
I presumed at the time that the long term partner "Guy A" couldn't be a potential because he didn't ejaculate and "Guy B" did, over a number of days.
I've recently discovered that you can become pregnant from pre-ejaculate and also as my little one has grown into a young boy, his features are remarkably similar to "Guy A". Scarily so. I never told anybody about what happened with "Guy A" and someone close to me questioned if "Guy B" was definitely my LO's father because he looked so much like "Guy A" and asked if there was any chance he could be "Guy A's" and I broke down and told him and he said there is a possibility as he can't see "Guy B" in my LO at all. I guess I've never looked at my LO as anything other than mine as he has no father figure in his life due to "Guy B" running a million miles away and me being too proud to contact for financial support, etc..
I have tried to get in touch with "Guy B" to do a paternity test and he has refused to acknowledge who me and my LO are and even if I claimed he was my LO's dad, I can't force him and neither can a court to do a DNA test, he may be held responsible financially for my LO but I wouldn't have the answer that I still needed.
"Guy A's" heart was understandably broken by the entirety of the situation and how quickly I acted with another man but stayed in my life as my friend up until Jan 2013 and he told me he wished to go our separate ways and get on with our lives.
I have had to contact "Guy A" to ask if he would do a DNA test and explained the situation and he hasn't replied yet. Its only been a day so he's probably taking it all in.
It was the last thing I wanted to do but I have no other means of getting an answer and "Guy A" is a good guy and would have/would supported me every step of the way with my LO. So I'm stuck with a huge guilt complex at the mo and just left wondering if I've done the right thing contacting him.
Apparently ovulation cycles aren't straight forward and I've never had a period where I come on the following month the exact date or ×1 day. They're always all over the show and that's even with me not being on any contraception since my LO was born.
What do you think? Is there a possibility that "Guy A" could be the father? Both men are similar in eye colour, brow bone and eyebrow shape but one has darker brown hair and one has mousy brown hair with blonde in it. My little boy is light brown with blonde through it and my hair is nearly black. My LO looks the spitting image of me when I was a child. Yet he sometimes looks like "Guy A" and "Guy B". So its hard to go off looks alone.
I just want an answer for him so that when I explain who his bio dad is then I can give him the actual person and not a "guess".
Any feedback or opinions would be much appreciated!
Thanks! :)