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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

need some new friends and single parent advice

2 replies

firstpglivingabroad · 11/01/2014 03:06

Hi everyone. I'm 13+5 today. I've posted in another forum but maybe will meet some more people here. I'm currently living in Asia but am from the UK.

3 days ago I got home from work and discovered that my DP/ExP (not sure which) had packed all his belongings and left. He left me note saying he was returning to Europe. The only things he left behind were the christmas presents I bought him and a book on pregnancy for dads. I thought that was a particularly nice touch.

To add insult to injury I only have 4 weeks left at work. I'm 37 and this is my first pg (his first too), I'm finding it very hard physically and emotionally. I have quite a senior job that has been particularly demanding in the last few months and he wanted me to quit because it was bad for my health. Kept telling me that he earns enough to support us all and I didn't need to work until the baby was at school.

So now I find myself all alone in a strange country, no income coming in (and I wasn't earning so much so I don't have savings to fall back on) and basically unemployable because I'm pg. I'll be heading back to the UK and I need a plan to find somewhere to live and to support myself and my baby. I realise now that I cannot rely on DP in any way, though I am waiting for him to reply to my question about financial support. Also my question as to whether he wants a relationship with his child. Let's just say I'm not holding my breath to either.

I'm also very worried at the emotional toll this might be taking on the baby. Trying very hard to stay calm & relax, but keep on fighting hysterical bouts of crying / sobbing. Wake up in the night crying too. I guess that will pass.

Any advice anyone might have would be appreciated. I suspect I'll be hanging on this forum quite a bit. Thanks for reading

OP posts:
muser31 · 11/01/2014 11:37

hey your situation sounds so difficult its not surprising that you are crying at times you have been through so much. you need to get in touch with people / places who can support you when you come back to the uk ... do you have any family or friends in the uk? can you get in touch with citizens advice before you come? im sure other people will know of more information and will be along soon ... just take one day at a time and you are right to focus on trying to relax for the sake of you and your baby. there are loads of relaxation techniques you could try on youtube that might help in the mean time..... i hope you can find some support soon

pickles184 · 13/01/2014 05:23

I went through a break-up at 8wks pregnant, I was at and still am at the other side of the country from my family and best friend, that was hard enough let alone another country!
Do you have family/friends to come back to in the uk? Agree with muser citizens advice well worth contacting as well as Shelter who have a lot of great advice online and brilliant help over the phone.
Happy to offer a friendly ear if you want to unload on someone and easier said than done, but please try to relax when you can, it will help you and baby

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