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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

I just need a moan.

5 replies

Lonecatwithkitten · 10/01/2014 16:27

ExH left 18 months ago for OW, various issues with his care of DD. Ongoing problems due to OW's DD being in my DD's year at school (they are nearly 10). Just before christmas he was caught drink driving with DD in the car (not just over the limit either) drinking while DD was in his care had been a concern I had raised with him. We had had 50:50 shared care with support and advice from solictor I now have her all week and he sees her EOW. He lost his job as a result of losing his licence. So now there is no maintenance. I also work evenings and am on cal some nights.
Now to the moan I am exhausted sorting out the mess he has created (which of course he will not acknowledge or do anything to help with is exahusting. I know I am lucky to be able to afford all this, but it is through years of hard work running my own business. So I am getting an au pair so I have had hours reading CVs and skyping to find the right person. I am selling my car to buy a teeny weeny car for the au pair and a slight bigger one for me. Till she arrives in a week I am running ragged making sure DD is alright and working. Even something as small as getting a PAYG mobile for her just felt overwhealming today. I hav budgetted to within an inch of my life and we can just afford it all, but there is no safety net.
He sits in his house with OW (who is an alcoholic) drinking and smoking. Oh and clients scream down the phone at me when I have the audacity to ask them to pay their bill, they don't have any dispute with the service just take exception to being sent a statement asking them to pay their bill.

I know it will get better when the au pair arrives I won't be so exhausted, but just now it feels like I am scrabbling to stay still. Oh and the old chestnut of no one to talk to about it.

OP posts:
Monetbyhimself · 10/01/2014 18:09

Hope the Au Pair brings you that light at the end of the tunnel. Are you working over the weekend or can you just switch the phone off and shut the world out ? That's what I'm going to do after a full on crappy week!

Lonecatwithkitten · 10/01/2014 19:48

Sadly no working and just had to deal with a crying DD who doesn't want to go to Daddy's because he can't have two shag free days in 14 to spend with his daughterAngry.

OP posts:
starlight1234 · 10/01/2014 23:40

Well firstly well done for sorting it all out ..hopefully things will calm down...

fuzzywuzzy · 10/01/2014 23:58

Well done for getting so organised.

Secondly do not take clients screaming down the phone personally, ask for the money send them invoices and keep doing it till they pay. Also keep a list of clients who are withholding payment and next time ask for a deposit up front.

Do you have any friends who could do icy calm debt chasing for you?

2014isgoingtobegood · 11/01/2014 01:41

I know what you mean about being at the end of your tether, so even the smallest task seems too much.

It's a horrible situation to be in, to have to chase limiting contact. Both for the stress it involves facing up to the damage that could/has been done and the practicalities. But hold on to the fact that you are doing the right thing to protect your dd and to provide for her.

Try and stay positive, tot up all the tasks you have achieved, have some rewards planned for yourself eg hot bath or whatever.

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