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XPs first outing with DD since split

3 replies

misselphaba · 10/01/2014 14:47

XP arrives shortly to take DD out for a few hours. He's visited her at home but this is the first time he's taken her out since our relationship ended a couple of weeks ago.

This is what I've been dreading for the past year and one of the reasons I stayed with him as long as I did.

I'm worried about where he's going to take her. When we were still together the furthest he went with her was the local park. We broke up due to his continued drug use and that worries me -will he take her to some dodgy pub or to see his drug using friends? He would never do anything to harm her but I worry is he safe to look after her or will his judgement be impaired by drug use? I ended the relationship because I didn't want DD to grow up in that sort of environment so am I completely mad to allow him to take her out at all? So confused.

If there is an OW which I strongly suspect there is, he'll probably take her there. I disagree with children meeting new partners straight away so that worries me. There's also an emotional part of me that would be completely devastated by this, although that's my issue and nothing to do with DD and I'm trying not to let that part impact on the decisions I make with XP about her. Still devastating to think about though.

I have a friend coming for moral support but it doesn't look like she's going to get here until after they've left.

This makes it all seem so real and so final. It really is over and this is how its going to be from now on. DD is only 15mths so it better bloody get easier quickly.

Agh. Hope I can wait until they leave until the floods start.

OP posts:
Monetbyhimself · 10/01/2014 18:10

Hope you're ok OP. Is she due home soon ?

Foxy800 · 10/01/2014 20:00

How did it go?

2014isgoingtobegood · 11/01/2014 02:03

First time is the hardest and it does get easier. When dd can speak you will have more of an idea of where she has gone, who she has seen.

It's horrible being in the grey area of whether contact should happen. Keep a diary of any concerns you have about what she is doing, the state he is in etc. Speak to your hv etc if appropriate. This can be used as evidence if you do feel you need to stop contact.

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