EXH has asked new GF to move in - the kids told me, not him...

[Boobalina]

Just wanted to gauge general opinion to check I am correct with my reaction.

EXH and I have been seperated for 3 years. we made an agreement that we would try and wait 6 months ish before introducing new partners to the kids (8 and 6) and we would tell the other first that we were going to do it - all nice and civilised yes?

He met new GF 5 months ago, introduced her to kids after 1 week - they told me, not him. She has been permenantly at his side on every single visit since. Shes a nice girl as far as I can see and kind to the kids, so all good in that regard.

The kids told me this week that 'daddy asked xxx to live with him as she is at his house all the time anyway'. The kids are happy with this event.

I, however, have been really pissed off - a) to hear it first from the kids b) he didnt have the common decency to tell me him self - a new person would be living with OUR kids half the week (he has them 3 nights a week)

I eventually asked him about it today and he couldnt stand why I was a bit pissy about it? he thought I knew she was there all the time etc, whats the big deal etc.

I did ask him how he would feel if a new man was about to move into my house after just 5 months....

grrrr

P>S I dont want him back at all and have never looked back since we separated. He definitely has an element of narcissism personality disorder.

I think as difficult as it probably is with someone who is a stranger to you being introduced to your dc I think after 3yrs you exh might have thought it wouldn't be an issue.
Main thing is that the dc are ok with her as it's them that will be affected the most by this.

It would have been common courtesy for him to have told you, buy saying anything paints you as the psycho, stalking, jealous bitter Ex

If the kids like her and she's kind to them, that's the main thing. So smile sweetly and remember that thevpiir cow is now LIVING with your Ex

I think that with the best will in the world it's very easy so set these seemingly sensible guidelines until the situation is real. He could have handled it better by telling you he had decided to reneg the agreement you made, sounds a bit cowardly. But, I think you need to take a deep breath and pick your battles carefully

I think it's a bit silly of him to change the agreement so extremely. I could imagine someone getting keen to introduce children and changing it from six months to three or something (still bad imo) but to a week?! I think at that point he made it clear what his priority is. But what's done is done I suppose.

I do think he should have had the courtesy to let you know about both things though. I think any change in the children's lives should be told to the other parent so they can be there for the children if they get upset.

Annoying but not much you can do. As you've been apart for a while, is he ok generally with arrangements with the kids?
New gf sounds as if she'll be nice to the kids.
I met my prospective SC's v early on as DP told them about me and they werd v keen to meet me. I was scared but they were cool about it.

Oh god this is just the think im dreading!! We have only separated recently but he is already approaching the subject of meeting the OW (the children that is) Scary stuff. I can totally understand how you feel!

How do you know he only met her 5 months ago, though? The kids met her then, but they could have been dating for longer than that? TBH, I'd me a bit meh - it's been three years, the kids like her...focus on having a positive parenting relationship.