Advantages of being lone parent are ...

[Snugglesrock]

Evening all

Saw one of these a while back and now I can't find, so I thought I'd start another

Let's all share the advantages

First one is star fishing in bed for me :)

Loving it folks

I've just sat and done my nails watching crap tv

No one to moan no one to ask me why and just my little girl in the morning to say oh wow mommy they look good

Lol at 'silent unacknowledged bad temper.' That's the same as passive aggression right? Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

Do go on forever Sandiy. Totally second everything on the list and it's making me happy :-)

This sounds all so familiar, I'm going through such a hard time but not strong enough to make that leap yet.
I'm still getting the remarks about cooking
The unplanned trips (that end up being shit)
The family (his)
The constant picking stuff up and putting it back
Never watch what I want
Hide the fact I'm on MN/FB (because we never see anyone so it's the only company I get sometimes, how sad)

The MumsRush when you do find the strength to make that leap you will never look back,life will begin and be wonderful,i promise x

Going to bed early!! Its still early days for me but seems by this thread things get better!! Hehe!!

I've just been getting my groove on in the hall whist ds had his bath .
You can't do shit like that in front of people, though ds was .

Yes pick I did that tonight too hehe made lo laugh so hard x

I've got my second wind
No Sunday papers that hang around until the following Saturday cluttering up the sitting room,God help anyone that moves them even the crappy bits.
No critical judgements of my friends Yes they may be common by your standards but,I love them and goodness have they been rocks over the last few years.
Nail polish -turns out its not vulgar after all.
Knowing that I can do it not because I have to but because I can.
Food -It lasts for ages and ages and it's like magic I go to the fridge and guess what no greedy pig has stuffed all the ham cheese and yogurt for the children's packed lunches.
I ve had the career change I needed that apparently we could never afford.
Children are allowed to stay up late and watch tele with me,Because I don t need "quiet time" in the same way.
Electric blanket,I love my leccy blanket,another thing that was forbidden.
In the evenings I'm allowed to wash up straight away,So I can put the dish washer on and clean up and relax instead of having to sit down and "chat" then have to do dishes before bed.
Not coming home from a 13 hour shift to piles of dishes,washing,general filth and ex wondering what might be for dinner and finding the children asleep in their uniform because he did nt bother to check they had changed into pjs they were tiny.
18 years what a waste of half my life.

planning your weekend to suit you and dcs only

to go shopping and buy clothes and not have to justify/explain it to anyone but yourself

sandiy, I have also spent time regretting that I gave so many years of my life over to my ex. I try now to remember the kind words of a good friend of mine who said that my son will find it a source of comfort that, despite his parents not being together, he will know that his father was someone who meant a lot to me and for a long time.

(That was not meant to denigrate anyone who got away from an arsehole quicker than I did, btw - I use it solely for when I'm berating myself for the years I spent with him, and thought it might help sandiy; that's all.)

Agree with all of the above - sulky manchild esp.

I honestly think I am too selfish (well, I mean I value DD above everyone else) to have anyone else in my life. I have been trying with a new partner but having him constantly need me to confirm my happiness when I am doing all of his washing/cleaning up after his cooking (one good thing!) or trying to wean DD off his idea of warm milk at bed time, amongst many other things has been very stressful. I think I just was better at planning our time for the two of us, and have little left energy or patience over for another person (esp one who turns into another toddler if I am short with him).

Also enjoy not feeling guilty for being on MN or internet being sociable when all he seems to want is having his hands down my pants

Was really missing being a full time Lone Parent! Not something I thought I would say half a year ago!

Oh God I couldn't be doing with a man around the place. I did venture into online dating last year and ended up seeing this guy on a fairly regular basis, but I got fucked off with him constantly texting me (they were nice texts) and expecting replies all the time. He also was very keen to meet my son, but I couldn't be arsed with the whole 'this is Mummy's special friend' conversation and in the end realised that I was doing this (very nice) bloke a disservice because really I didn't want to be with anyone. It just feels like hassle now. Probably because I am a bitter old witch who is going to die alone and be eaten by her many cats, but I can't quite get my head around how it would work with a man here when I just want to focus on my son.

Ooh I have loads:

Everything being tidy and in order without man shit everywhere
Not having to deal with sulks and moods
Doing fun crazy stuff with dcs
Going for trips when and where we like
Having the bed to myself
Going to bed when i want
Getting up when I want
Spending as much or as little on food shopping as I like
Ditto all kinds of shopping
Eating what we want, when we want it
Fixing things myself and getting jobs done
No arguments EVER
sharing my bed with dcs occasionally
Having every other weekend to do stuff for me
Wearing whatever I want
Nice duvet pillows and cushions in girly colours

Wallison you raise a very good point. I def think I would need a bigger house to fit a man in. And he would need to be some kind of amazing superhuman person to fit nicely into the family dynamic wouldn't he?

Yes, NewBeginnings, I agree. Our life bumbles along quite nicely now. I can't see how adding another person would make it better, but I can without too much imagining see how it would make things worse. I did feel bad about the bloke I was seeing - I just couldn't devote enough space in my head to keep things ticking over. Also - and I think it's because it's been a long time since I was dating and things have changed - I really did feel hassled by the amount of texts he sent; do people really expect to be in constant touch with each other now? It made me feel stifled.

This thread has done wonders for my mood, thank you!

Wallinson you sound like me! I explained to my bloke I just don't have the time or energy to be so all over him as soon as DD is asleep, or text back within the hour every time he decides he wants to hear from me. He agreed to give me space, drove home for an hour and then called me twice! I mean, WTF? Too much effort and I'm a lazy bugger who loves her 4 hours down time when DD is in bed

Lioninthesun, yep I am definitely a lazy bugger. And in my book is calling twice in the space of an evening is definitely not giving you space! Hope you manage a compromise that works for both of you; it's tricky, isn't it?

Yes guys I'm the same. I've got used to my own space and own time. Will need to be brad Pitt to make me share again hahaha

How long have you got?

Decorating is done properly the first time, not a bodge job.
Decorating is done when I want it, not when he's ready
I choose everything, even down to the type of nails and screws I want to use.
I am more capable of everything than I ever thought I would be
I can spend as much or as little as I want on food and I can get the kids to try anything without his less than helpful input (They both like haggis FGS, they wouldn't have even attempted it if he was here)
I can go to the gym
I know what we need to get in and what we don't need
I have cheese in the fridge when I want some
I can watch my programmes without the sarky comments and "oooh, what else was he is in?" questions.
If I want to go to the cinema I can and do
If I want to see my mates until silly o'clock I do
If I want to eat crap I do
The kids can relax
The kids are happier and calmer
No computer shit and hoarding to deal with
The only tools left on the side are MINE
The bills are paid on time, every time.
No crappy car to shell out for.
I have complete and utter control of my life, the house and the kids
If I want to spend silly money on candles or clothes I can
I can see who ever I want
The bed is mine. All mine.
No socks, pants or dirty trousers left on the floors
No having to check through his pockets for screws or whatever else fucks up the washing machine
No sweaty, stuffy, dirty man smell
No-one smothering my body with theirs while I'm sleeping
NO PORN!
I dont have to make conversation or acknowledge every little thing he utters when all I want to do is sit and stare at the wall for a couple of hours.
We go out and do more as a family now he's not here pooh poohing every idea
I don't have to have sex when all I want to do is sleep
There's a whole load of things I don't miss about sex in general to be honest
NO MORE FAGS! He smoked and stinks, the car was an ashtray on wheels - seriously, it was disgusting.
I HAVE MORE MONEY
I know exactly what is in the bank account at any given time
No more, nearly finish cooking the evening meal and he rocks up with 3 of his mats for dinner, with no warning.
No more waiting for him to get his arse ready when I want to go out somewhere.
I can leave my crap everywhere without him moaning about it
The bathroom stays clean
No more skidmarks on the sheets (seriously, how the fuck do they do that?)
No more pressure
No more expectations
No more arguments
No more sulking
No more excuses
No more crap martial arts films
No more Van damme
No more Segal
No more crap jokes
No more having to look for things which are right under his nose
No more work boot smell

I could go on forever...

I love being single, can you tell?

Love it farrow. Think I'd forgotten how much work men are but that's brought it all back snuggled up happily with my lg with no smelly man in sight

I love this post, its cheered me up as was feeling quite down this weekend, as had another battle with the EXH over him having the DC's and having to put up with him constantly changing his mind when he is going to have them. The battles are making me feel ill. Yes I am so pleased I am without him though, its hard but worth it.