Empty nest syndrome and single parents

[nicecupoftea2013]

Not sure if this is the right place to post, but I am a single parent and my sons are leaving home in the next week or so. They are following their dreams and leaving on good terms, but I feel devastated.

I am making plans for the new chapter in my life, but I will miss them so much. Being a single parent has made our bond so much stronger, and we have been through so much together, we work really well as a team.

Does anybody have any tips on coping with the sadness/pride/joy/emptiness /impending loneliness etc? I don't want my sons to know I am devastated because I will always support them and don't want them to think of me, they should just follow their dreams.

My youngest is 16 and he is joining the navy. I know the sea is in his blood, but I will miss him so much it is like my heart is being wrenched out.
I cant stop crying, although will put a brave face on when I need to.

I know it would be hard for any parent, but I think being a widow makes it tougher. Does anybody have any tips? I know I wont fall apart, I am too strong to do that to my boys, but I will miss them so much it hurts.

They are both away at the minute and I have just had my first ever 24 hours alone. It will take some getting used to, even though I have good plans. I just need a hug x

see it this way...the reason why your kids are able to leave home and start building their lives is precisely because of the work you put in to allow them to grow into mature adults. You should feel very proud of your achievement.

((( hugs))) it must be really hard

do you work? maybe now's the time to make a list of things you'd like to do just for you - start a new hobby, get a dog, travel a bit, take up a new language or musical instrument - anything really - voluntary work etc?

book yourself in a treat or two - night out with a friend, massage or whatever for when they go so you've got things to look forward to?

you've done a great job so give yourself a pat on the back that they're confident to leave and follow their dreams

I am dreading this although it is 14yrs+ away!

I agree with the others, it is a sign you did good.

Can you also plan something for the next time you will see them, special trip or whatever.

Thanks everybody. I am slowly getting over the shock of my sons announcement, and we have a few weeks left before he leaves home. We need this time to get practical things sorted out really.

However, I am still upset. I cried when I saw a big ship! I will really miss him, knowing he will be away for months at a time, it will be so hard when it actually happens. Knowing I cant see him on the weekend, like uni students really hurts. It will seem so final him being on a boat the other side of the world at the age of 16.

I will make plans, but I have a lot of uncertainty in work at the minute so my energy is on fighting work. I am not in the right place yet to take up new hobbies, voluntary work etc but I am sure I will be in the next few weeks and months.

I have never lived alone before, so feel a bit vulnerable!

How old is your other son, is he also joining the navy ? They sound lovely focused boys, to know what they want out of life at such a young age. Must be so hard for you though.

My other son is in uni, one and a half hours away so it doesnt seem so final. When my 16 year old is on ship, I wont see him for 5 months and we can only speak when he is in port.

I am using the next few weeks to plan. I will save so much time in the kitchen!