So I am officially a non- custodial mother

[lemmingcurd]

This is the hardest decision I have ever made. Two of my precious DC are going to be living permanently with their father. In another European country. They seem really happy, which is why I made the decision. They are 10 and 8.5. I will see them once every 5-6 weeks and for the summer holidays.
How am I going to do this. anyone else with split custody situation?

Do you have any other dc's staying with you. You have made a tough decision. How do you feel about seeing your dc every 5 weeks?

yes the youngest will stay with me. The older two are really strongly attached to their lives in XH's country and have found the transition difficult.

You might want to check www.matchmothers.org/ which is a support group for separated mothers,

I can't give any advice, but well done for a brave decision OP. That really proves that you have DCs best interests at heart, I hope you take some comfort from that.

Oh go on, tell us what country it is please?

Oh, that must be really hard.

DD (12) has recently decided that she'd prefer to live with XH. DS (14) wanted to stay with me. But XH and I live in the same town, so I get to see her most days.

It must be awful to have your child living in a different country. What a horrible decision to have to make :(

Would recommend MATCH as DarkKnight123 says.

May be worth considering Families Need Fathers. Forget the name - about a third of the members are female, including mothers both resident and non resident (one of the branch meetings I attend is run by a non resident mum).

You'll get tips in how to make sure you play a full part in your DC's lives. There is lots you can do but it is hard.

Thanks for replies. Am currently trying to rework things so I spend 3 weeks out of every 4 with the DCs all in the same country and then 1 week in the UK without them. I think it will be doable I will just have to buy shares in Ryanair or something

OP I'm a non resident mother too. I just wanted to say you are very brave and selfless to put your dc's needs before your own sadness and feelings of missing them. I wish you the best and I hope you manage to work something out that caters for everyone, including you of course. On a side note i might have a look at the links posted myself as I hadn't considered Families need father's before.

thanks bumble. Smallest DC will be joining her siblings in 10 days. I then will be travelling back and forth each month spending 20 days with them and 10 without. I just have to trust it will work out.