When will I get over him?!!!

[Sasquatch75]

Argh just a moan really... My exh left nearly 5 months ago now... And although I'm not crying nearly as much as I was in the summer, it's still painful. Especially when the DCs come home after being with him and the ow and tell me about the things they did. Hurts still. And I bloody hate knowing that my exh is happy! Git.

Hate him playing Disney dad and not having to deal with them being ill, waking up in the night (my 2 year old is a nightmare), homework etc.

Feel like I'm the boring parent. I just want these awful feelings to go away

I wish I knew! Im 7 months in and still struggle. Totally agree with Disney dad whilst I do all the parenting. Im just trying my hardest to look forward now.

Hi I'm 3 years in now and it's beginning to get easier. I have no magic answers I'm afraid other than time is a healer! Yes it's so frustrating when the ex plays Disney dad. And the kids come back all tired and hyped up and I'm stuck doing all the hard boring stuff. I have found that trying to do small new things for myself have helped and creating little family traditions for me and the kids. Moving on one step at a time and try to stay positive! Time does heal!

It took me about 3 years and we never even saw him!

If I could go back in time I'd tell myself to just stop thinking about him - much easier to get over someone that way ...but it's do painful at the time. It does pass.

If it helps 4.5 years after ex left I met DH and he's way better!

I'm 2 years in now, and my DS1 tells me I'm his 'really really best friend mummy'. He has a nice time with his v. Disney dad but he loves his home and he loves being here.

Don't get me wrong I still cry with frustration and anger sometimes, like when I get x-twunt on the doorstep telling me about the 'lovely roast dinner OW made for them while he played with DS1 doing hot wheels tracks' etc etc. Because he wouldn't have done it with us, and that hurts and makes me feel wounded, still.

But then I check myself and wonder just how happy OW actually is, cooking lunch for the lazy prick while she watches our DS2 (19mo) and he arses about on the carpet making a mess for her to clear up later... home is where the heart is. And my DC's know where they call home. x

Coming up to two years now and still struggling as I have been left picking up the pieces and dealing with lots of crap while exp has a carefree life with OW.

tbh OP, at 5 months I was still a crying wreck who pretty much had to be picked up off the floor by friends. I was pregnant at the time which probably didn't help.

I don't want to sound negative but you probably have a range of emotions and feelings still to come. I had a period of such intense hate towards OW that I would sit and yell and swear in my car to get it out. I still have a lot of pent up anger as exp still takes zero responsibility for his actions although one big step forward for me is that I no longer expect him to return or expect an apology and it is quite liberating not to be waiting.

I have seen a counsellor which can help. I hope you are getting all the help and support you need but don't expect healing to be an overnight process. I think I will always have a little hole inside me left by exp.

Tbh I wouldn't wish these emotions on my worst enemy..except OW

It has been just over a year for me now, he was my fiance at the time having had proposed to me 3 months before. He walked out on me after planning our second child, only 3 weeks into trying and 2 weeks later I found out that I was expecting DS2.

I am still sitting here heartbroken, hopefully it will get easier overtime.

I'm 6 months in and still struggling. I know I need to stop thinking about ex and OW and get a life for myself but am a bit stuck with it all ATM and not sure how I do this. There's no real time frame however and I think these things just take time.
I found out that my ex and Ow spent NY in Bali scuba diving while I was sat in with the DC. I found myself on an online dating site just because I am so tired of feeling angry, sad and bitter and thought it might be a distraction.
But a few days later went off the idea as really I'm just not ready for that. I did read a very helpful quote on here the other day which is that you should think of the process as a marathon and not a sprint.

Sorry, forgot I'd started this thread.

I've been doing loads of decorating to keep busy. House is looking lovely! Also decided to sort the divorce out and phoned a solicitor today. Think it's good to sort it while ex is feeling so guilty still.

Have good days and bad days... Still can't bear to look at his face when he picks the DCs up. Don't talk to him either.

Think I'll be doing OD in the summer... After all, my ex was actually a rebound relationship (after my other ex cheated on me and I dumped him!).

Glad things are a bit brighter

Nearly 2 and a half years for me. I am so much better now, but definitely not 100% as I have had a lot of crap to deal with from ex. He has left me to deal with finances and is dodging things left right and centre and does no see DD etc. Therefore I am unable to completely forget about him. However, I have moved from despair and thinking that I cannot carry on without him and believing that he will come back to feeling much more in control and able and knowing that I don't need him at all. I realise now that he is at heart a nasty piece of work. He is a liar and a con man. I realise that I was a fool to pine over such a sorry excuse for a man. He is not the husband that I wanted. He is not the father DD deserves.

5 months is very early. I was pretty much suicidal at 5 months. I went on anti-depressants at 8 months as I was still in a bad way.

It will get better but everyone has their own time scale. I am not one of those people that moves on in a matter of months.