Hi I'm new here but really need to get this off my chest.
I divorced exh 11 years ago when ds was almost 4. He's always had regular visits to his df - eow fri eve to sun eve for the first few years, gradually reducing to sat am to sun eve eow, then just sun eow and for the past 2 years one sunday a month for 6-8 hours.
I only communicate with exh by text as his fiancee won't allow him to speak to me on the phone after a big argument over the phone 3 years ago.
Exh and his fiancee have 3 children together who my ds loves dearly - he considers them his siblings, not 'half' siblings (with my full support as I always wanted him to see them all as his family - because they are)...
Ds and I should have been away over Xmas (which exh was fine with) but it fell through. I told exh at his last visit (1st Dec) that we would now be at home over Xmas and to let me know when he wanted to see ds. I told him he could choose any day (s) that suited him as I have 2 weeks off work and he has to juggle time off work.
On 16th Dec I texted him asking when he wanted to see ds again so we can make our plans around it. Three (increasingly angry) texts from me and 3 days later he texted back saying 'it will need to be 5th Jan as I already have plans for my days off - thought you'd be on holiday'. Ds asked me to text back saying that he had said no that didn't suit him and his df would have to wait until 12th Jan), which I did, making it clear, ad ds had asked, that this was ds choice.
I have ranted at him by text to change his plans or include his ds in them. I have even tried apologising for getting angry and appealing to his 'better nature' to see his ds for just a couple of hours between Xmas and New Year. My ds has (as he does every year) bought presents for his df, stepmum and siblings and wants to give them to them during the Christmas break.
Ds and I have had a lovely day with my parents today but he's been very quiet. Guessing the reason, I asked if he'd like to phone his df. He said 'why should I bother, he obviously doesn't want to speak to me'. So my ds has spent Xmas Day hoping his df will ring and wish him a Happy Xmas :-(. I even (unknown to ds) texted exh at tea time today to ask him to call his ds (the text was very polite, and I said please and thank you despite wanting to rip the bastard's head off for hurting my boy)...
My son is very quiet and laid back and hates confrontation. He loves his df so much, although he's told me he knows he can't rely on his dad, but still keeps hoping he'll surprise him :-(
Sorry this has ended up so long. And if you got his far, thank you for reading! I just can't understand why anyone could do this to their child :-(