Ex chooses today to tell me he's not having the dcs at the weekend

[17leftfeet]

It's his normal contact this weekend coming

He didn't have them last contact weekend as they went to the panto on the Saturday afternoon so he said it wasn't worth it

His excuse this weekend is its only opportunity to go out over Christmas (he was out last night)

Well what about me?

Much as I love them, by Saturday I will have had them continuously for 4 weeks and I was looking forward to slobbing about and sleeping when I feel like it

Sob

Tell him you have plans and not let him walking all over you!
It would be much better to know he has them once a month than him pretending to himself he is a loving dad whilst in fact he is very selfish!

And he told you on Christmas Day! What a dickhead! I'm sure someone with legal know how will be along soon to give proper advice but you have my sympathy and ex-focsed anger!

No point telling him I've got plans, he just won't show up

Said it with his reasons in front of the dcs so our oldest is now sulking and refusing to open the present he bought -pretty sure he's used up all his chances with her

What a knob telling you today and in front of them. I know it is so hard having that break snatched away from you. But hold on to the fact that he is screwing up his relationship with them, while you are providing the stability they need.

Can you do something special, see friends or go to something Christmassy? I find it easier to keep busy in those circs.

Frustrating but sadly nothing you can do...I would like to say it is his loss but sadly when the kids are let down and down they suffer too...

It was 3 years ago when my DS then 3 was taken to a soft play Xmas part as he was only allowed contact in public place...After he was 15 minutes late...DS said lets go...I didn't..He eventually turned up but made me realise it had reached the point where it had to change...At 3 he had so little faith in him turning up he wasn't bothered about a party with Santa and unsurprisingly got really upset when I left him...

It is very sad for kids and which these people realise the damage they are doing to their kids...

How old are your kids...have you invented the PJ day? My DS loves them he thinks it is a real treat when we slob about and don't get dressed x

YOu can't force him. Silly him.
I have mine 365 days a year so never a night off (not my choice). So it could be worse for you and I keep us all and he pays nothing.