Found out my OH has been seeing OW for months

[trumphy]

Well basically, I've been seperated from my OH for several months. But it was never a definitive "we're over", more a "lets have space and see if we can work things out", as we both still had feelings for each other. Plus I have to say, it was more him wanting the seperation than me. I had suspicions he was seeing someone and repeatedly asked him. All I wanted as to know where I stood. You see for religious reasons, I could not divorce unless adultery had been commited and he knew this. That means I could not even date anyone else. I know that may seem a hard concept to some but I am in a faith where this is not allowed at all! Thing is, he knew this. So it makes it all the more cruel. In the end, I had to hack into his email to find the evidence. Even when I confronted him he said I was crazy. I had to appeal to him to please be kind and let me know (yuck I know). He eventually did. What is really horrible is that all this time he has been sleeping with me and giving me false hopes whilst sleeping with her as well.

Long story short, when I found out I got her email address and told her the whole story. Apparantly the naughty man told her it was completely over with me. He also failed to mention he was still trying to sleep with me.

I don't believe they are an item anymore. :)

This may seem like an odd post, but to all those women and men out there who have experenced similar and know what I mean, justice is sweet.

Good on you. Revenge certainly is sweet x

She isn't an ow if you have been separated surely?

And you have the faith that only let's you divorce if there's adultery, does your ex share that faith?

Fwiw if you watch the television and the current ongoing trials of those from the now defunct news of the world etc, you'll know that hacking his email is a criminal offence. Good luck.

Im really glad you will now be able to divorce and move on with your life. What a twat trying to trap you like that knowing your faith.

I don't give a crap if anyone hacks email as long as it's not used for gain .. It has and always will be the best way to find out if someone is shitting all over you.
Criminal indeed pfft

Ok. Sod the computer misuse act then?

Op - Does your ex think you were having a separation or a kind of a not really separation?

Don't think the ex can complain about the op hacking his email when he is shagging about and risking the health of at least two women.

Computer misuse act my arse! Good you found out now op. Sounds like a scumbag. You're well rid and so is she. Did she tell you how long it had been going on? I'd be interested to know whether their relationship predated your separation and he was keeping you on the back-burner until he was sure his new one was a goer.

random AXEofkindness, I have a strong feeling that his relationship with this other woman started before our official separation. Although he denies this, but I have a gut feeling and that gut feeling was enough to have to do a bit of detective work to find out the truth. I don't give a crap about hacking into his email. He was happy to let me suffer for months with hopes that we may work things out and get back together whilst denying the other woman, even though I had my suspicions. When I say suffer, I mean he knows I have been under the care of medical professionals for depression and sucicidal thoughts! I was that depressed and distraught at my family break up. I begged him to just let me know the truth. It was alright for him to shag some other woman safe in the knowledge that little old me would be virtually celibate but for him visiting me. Evil bastard. I am well rid of him. I suffered for 13. But he reckoned cos he didn't hit me it wasn't abuse! I am now left picking the pieces up. But at least I can sleep at night.

I should add that this is the last event in 13 years of marriage of being ignored, shouted at, called names, etc. I tried my best and I never wanted a family breakup, especially as we have children. But now I feel able to live. For the first time in years I can got to sleep feeling safe, I'm not sobbing or worrying if he's going to come home drunk being mean to me. I've only just realised that I've never had a man be kind to me, ever...apart from my dad. That is sad isn't it!? Will I ever meet anyone decent? I hope so.

Also, she showed my OH the email I sent. I think he and her were shocked that I didn't get nasty. I basically said what all the lies and deceit had done to me and the kids. After all, it's not her or my OH who have to listen to my kids crying and asking why we aren't together anymore. My OH could barely speak when he told me he'd seen the email. I don't think until he saw what I said in black and white he could absorb it. I didn't accuse the other woman at all. After all, he's probably fed her a load of rubbish as well. He's the main one to blame. I didn't send it to me nasty, I sent it for justice. Neither of them had a right to each other, they took the chance, and this is what they got. Now, at long last, I know where I stand, and I can move on with my life. I still cry, I still feel lonely, but I can hold my head up.

I sent another message to her tonight, cos I felt bad for her. He was a violent bastard and I hate the thought of someone else going through that, or maybe I'm just an idiot. I just hate the thought of someone else going through what i did.