If your kids are with their other parent on Christmas Day...

[NoNoNoMYDoIt]

Come and chat to me

Mine have already gone to their dad's. I pick them up on Boxing Day.

I miss them terribly. I have stuff to do, places to go, people to see. But I miss them. They are 7 and 4. I hate this.

Ds (8) is with his dad for two whole weeks this christmas! He left on Sunday.
We celebrated Christmas on Saturday (Fakemas) with presents and dinner and I'm going to make sure to not surround myself with other children tomorrow. DH and I are going to the cinema tonight, then his aunt's for xmas dinner. All v grown up.

It is horrible though. Makes my heart hurt a bit.

Next year it's my turn to have him over xmas. Can't wait.

Do you find yourself trying to "out do" each other's Christmases?

No because there's no point as XH lives with someone with loads of DC and DGC and it's all a huge family affair whereas I am single and can't offer anything like that.

I don't quite understand why after four years but I am really feeling like Christmas is a pile of crap this year !

Oh coming - sorry you feel like it is shit. If it is any consolation most of the pressure will all be gone in 36hrs

Dobedo - 2 weeks is a long time. The longest I've ever done so far is 8 nights. We have agreed 2 weeks away each next summer though so I will have to do it then. I don't think he will ever agree to me taking the kids away at Xmas. If I have them Xmas day, he wants Boxing Day.

I don't compete either. I can't. He earns a lot more than I do. And has family, which I don't. I did go a bit over the top in advent this year. But only because he had 2 of the 3 advent weekends and had them from 18 thru to 26. There are lots of unopened windows on their advent calendars now

oh I'm so glad I came on here and found this thread! I'm still awake and cannot manage to switch off and go to sleep. I sent my dts off to their dads this afternoon and am home alone tomorrow (today) they are back on the 28th. I don't see my family and I cannot bear the thought of pretending to be happy over someone else's christmas table. What if I cry with a mouth full of turkey and can't swallow? Tired now, but will revisit everyone on this thread tomorrow. Big christmas kisses to you all!

Trashcan - come and talk when you are up. Logically it is just another day and you can do Christmas at another time. But it's not like that

Can you just hunker down today and be kind to yourself? It is just today that is awful. Tomorrow you can go to the sales or for coffee or something

I totally understand how you feel.

I am just off to parkrun

Well it is past midday and I'm still alive. Survived the muddy park run and also an hour and a half with my kids and ex and exMIL. Thousand or so quids worth of presents over there. Hmmm. 4yr old DD half unwrapping them, exclaiming "oh more dressing up stuff" and chucking it on floor. This is why I don't compete.

Hope everyone is surviving. It is downhill for me now as I get the kids back tomorrow after 8 very long days. And I can't bloody wait.

I just woke up gonna pull meself round then come and chat. Nonono how was the park run?

This is my son's second Christmas. He got picked up by his dad yesterday after lunch and I'm not seeing him again until Sunday.

Ah that is hard alys. Still we can but console ourselves with the fact that hopefully the kids will grow up remembering Christmas at both mum's and dad's. I know my son is militant about sharing Christmas - it is very important to him that we take turns.

Parkrun was fab. Surprisingly busy. Lots of people with their kids. My DS wants to do it next year. So I will have to hope DD is happy to be left with someone to marshal so I can take him round.

My ds has been with his dad for a week as ex insists on holidays being split 50:50. I have THAT spreadsheet. I get him back Sunday. So I go away - am now in the sunshine. Gorgeous!

Hope you all have a lovely day :)

Oh the spreadsheet... Today I popped over for 90 mins to drop some presents and see the kids so that has bollocksed his spreadsheet. I will pay though. He will try and reclaim those 90 minutes at some point

Hahaha

Mine realised yesterday he's had a spreadsheet FAIL and I have them 2 whole extra days. Shame we can't possibly make any changes at this late stage ....

I'm feeling ok actually. Am still naked, in bed and eating excellent nibbles.... gonna have some more tea and some choccy, maybe some chilli from yesterday too in a minute. I am very lucky, as spending tonight with my lovely fella (he's at his mums with his db and dsil - I am invited but would rather be here) I'm gonna pick him up about seven and we'll have a boxing day christmas. I had a christmas eve christmas with my little kids which was lush. And I just spoke to my eldest who is a complicated soul - spending it with my toxic family and even that went well. Now watching toy story!

Oldbag - your ex is an amateur. That would never happen to mine. He has formulae you see...

Trashcan - glad you have peace. And nibbles. I have my dinner in oven. And cava. Is all ok.

Thinking of all the households across the country with parents missing kids.

Checking in. Not too bad here as ds is ill so I really need the break. I am splitting his presents, Xmas dinner etc over a few days so still things to look forward to. I'm watching movies and online sale shopping.

Re competing, I don't have much money but I know I have got things he really likes, that will be special, as I know him so well.

Exh has rumbled about 50/50 but he likes his freedom and social life too much so far, for which I am grateful.

Somepeople - we had hideous court battle over residence. We he 60:40 split (I have 60). But 50:50 holidays. Since kids were 4 and 2. I hate it.

I hate 50/50 but it's the rig thing for the kids.

They are due at 6pm and dc1 has assured me they will not be late.

Oldbag - 1hr 58 mins for you. How fabulous

I hate 50:50. Half my life grieving. Other half euphoric

5pm I'm hitting the shower and getting the glad rags and slap on. Especially since I found the foundation I bought last week when I was doing the stockings last night

I have some concerns about exh's parenting ability so I am playing that game of giving in a bit to keep him sweet (eg he has him today) and hoping we don't end up fighting, as he could end up with much more contact that way.

Enjoy, oldbaghere!

I have DD today, but shes off to her dads on Sat till Wednesday. It will be the longest time shes been away from me. Shes three and H and I split in August so we're still doing residency/ access etc. He was supposed to come and see her today but has been an utter arse recently (false accusations to the police, SS etc) so had to cancel as solicitor advised against being alone with him. I've got to work Monday and Tuesday but am hoping I can sleep thru the rest till she come home

came down with virus so able to duck out of the well meaning invitations to join other families for their xmas day. Catching up with loads of tv recordings. Thinking of all the other parents forced to spend xmas without their dcs through no fault of their own or their dcs.

Hi ladies. I've been on my own since 3. I keep telling myself that I'm not some loser and it's like any other day and that I can be excused from eating a whole tub of Ben and Jerry's to myself. My dd isn't back til sat. Luckily I have lots planned for tomorrow so that's nice. I'm also going to do a bit of retail therapy in the morning.