Page 2 | I'm so miserable at the moment

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

fishmitten · 19/07/2006 21:55

Hi rickman,
have you looked into swaps? you don't usually have to have been on the list two years to arrange a mutual exchange.
Also, some private landlords will take HB if you can provide a guarantor. Do you know anybody with a reasonable working income that would stand for you? Parents? You really have to lie to your back teeth, tell them it is temporary, you are going back to work soon, whatever - they forget about it as soon as they ahve their rent coming in.

It is hell being a single mum, I was one for a couple of years. There are times when it all is so infuriating when they can carry on regardless, while you have to deal with the shit. It won't last forever tho, so try to focus on the positives. You know you are happier without XP. You are doing really well, and I agre with VVQ, you need a goal to focus on.

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rickman · 19/07/2006 22:01

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fishmitten · 19/07/2006 22:10

I managed to get two private lets on HB. I was lookign for an exchange which I never found. It is possible, but takes determination. I was looking for over a year, the first time.

I would have loved to have slapped my exp round the face! Must be almost worth it.

Just remebr it will pass, there are times like that. What ARE your plans for the summer hols? you need somethign to look forward to, however small.

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rickman · 19/07/2006 22:17

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mistressmiggins · 19/07/2006 22:19

its hard being a woman

was taling to man in my situation, and he looks forward to his weekends off (he has full time residency)
why dont women feel like that?

its easy to look forward to space & time alone when you're not divorced cos if you are without kids, they are either with your DH or you are

BUT I have come to the conclusion that my ex is an arse, he treated me badly and if he wants to play happy families once a fortnight, I will play "single snoggable woman"

am not being flippant Rickman - my public persona is sooooo over ex H - just wish my private one was

mistressmiggins · 19/07/2006 22:20

come & visit me

or come on the camping meet up

fishmitten · 19/07/2006 22:21

it only bunging a load of stuff into suitcasesm, that can wait. Have u cancelled milkman and any other stuff that can't wait?

abestos def gonna be fun. How old are the kids? Prob be best to stay out of the house as much as poss, even if it just is down the park. Thats always been my method of coping. Take a magazine and leave them to run riot.

moondog · 19/07/2006 22:22

Rickman,so sorry you're having a shit time.
Small children suck the life out of you,then spit you out as a dry husk even when there is a good bloke around.

Things will get better.You've been through the worse.

He's fucked up his chances of being with his family and no conservatory can make up for that.As for here and her kid...words fail me.

(Mistress M,glad to hear that you are sounding so positive there days.)

fishmitten · 19/07/2006 22:22

I love the idea of single snoggable woman! I did that!

FioFio · 19/07/2006 22:24

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rickman · 19/07/2006 22:26

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fishmitten · 19/07/2006 22:29

8am!! Fun! Have u tried telling them that 8am is a tad to early?
Where are you?

mistressmiggins · 19/07/2006 22:32

am in the midlands
am snoggable cos its all in the mind isnt it?
have been comfort eating (another thread that am too ashamed to post on) and so am stone more than should be BUT apart from MN friends plumping me up, I have RL friends who tell me I deserve better / will find someone who treats me right

so starting to believe it

camping thread meet up is in Aug sometime I think

Im not fussy - will camp anywhere

fishmitten · 19/07/2006 22:36

Hell, MM, I've two or three stone heavier than I should be, but I don't care. I have four kids, and they are the reason ,my body is like this and I'm proud of it! I'm still snoggable too!

I'm very tempted to try camping, but think the dts are too young for now. Keep looking at tents longingly tho!

mistressmiggins · 19/07/2006 22:37

my children are 4 1/2 and 2
took both camping for first time when 13 mths
easy

harder when single BUT went month ago with friend & her 2 and had a ball!!

fishmitten · 19/07/2006 22:40

what do u do with babies, take travel cots? Mine are v light sleepers.

mistressmiggins · 19/07/2006 22:45

nope
they sleep on airbed in their own sleeping bags (grobags when younger)

when we went a month ago, we shared the sleeping compartment - more room in the tent but a bit of a squash

kids love the outdoors - just go with the flow - in fact easier if kids are still in nappies as dont have triups to the loos

fishmitten · 19/07/2006 22:55

now i could have done that with dd and ds1 but no chance with the dts. I've been camping twice and loved it, but never ventured independantly yet!

nightowl · 19/07/2006 23:55

rickman, ive felt like that before. other people have had the life i wanted (well, more felt that i should have had) and i havent understood why it didnt happen for me. (like why dd's daddy chose his other child and never wanted to see her for instance). why my ex could get married when it didnt work out for us, why he couldnt behave himself. etc etc, the list is endless. all i can say is that i promise it does get better. ive realised now that the life i had wasnt so great anyway, got worse and now is ten times better than i could have ever imagined. bad things had to happen for me to have the good things i do now. i hit rock bottom, but im now happy and secure that things i did were right. rambling again i know, but its true. i promise you it doesnt always feel like this.

ninah · 24/07/2006 23:25

you are seeing the negatives at the moment but there must be positives
Your courage to follow the imperative and leave for a start. Stuff the conservatory. You are teaching your children what really matters and that will last them lifelong.
Could you write about it? i know you don't get a lot of time to yourself but I bet your story is worth telling.
MistressMiggins I love the sound of camping! tried it one night only in friends garden but quite often in Midlands nowadays, would be up for something too

mistressmiggins · 24/07/2006 23:43

camping is fab!!
off this weekend with girl friend & our 4 kids under 5

freedom & fresh air - nothing better

ninah · 24/07/2006 23:50

good for you! I quite fancy Bestival in Sept but dd will still be under 1 so maybe I will stick to very local for now.
I guess it's a lot better with other adult tho. With just the children it tended towards boring and exhausting, albiet with moments of pure joy that persuade me to repeat it
Do you feel you have a better life now, overall, than with exh?

mistressmiggins · 24/07/2006 23:52

nope BUT am adapting & getting on with it

my life was fine with ex even though he had withdrawn emotionally from the 3 of us

I kinda thought that was the hard times you had when you had young kids & Knew we could get through it - unfortunately he didnt wait to find out

am going to take advice & still remain contact with this bloke as he is great to talk to....

ninah · 24/07/2006 23:57

my P/ex p (still living in same house but separately) also withdrew emotionally and I found that SO painful. It's quite a relief to be making own plans
Stay in touch with which bloke, exh?
I'd quite like it if in time p and I were friends but part of me hates and fears it too, like that is the complete death of love, when even the anger has gone

mistressmiggins · 25/07/2006 00:00

I meant the bloke I went on date with

still speak to ex but try to keep it short & factual as otherwise ex likes to moan to me about his job & collegues

"sorry - did I not give up the need to listen to your moaninmg about work when you left us for your mistress" is a common phrase I have to repeat to thicky exh!!