DS had his birthday party on Saturday. It was absolutely lovely and he had the time of his life. I invited his dad (background - he left me for OW 2 years ago - DS was 1.)
ExH came and it couldn't have gone better - I made lots of effort to put him at ease as a lot of people there were our previous joint friends who became my friends after he left. Anyway, DS had fun, loved having both of us there which was the point.
But today and yesterday I have felt so so sad. I am really in a good place post breakup. I'm so happy - would quite like to meet someone new but not worrying too much. I didn't think playing happy families for 2 hours would affect me, but it has. I'm just so sad that this is how it will always be. And it sounds ridiculous but I want him to feel sad about that too. It all just feels like such a waste.
Anyway, I know this feeling will pass, I just wanted to tell someone as don't want to tell my friends as I don't want to give the impression that I want him back or anything like that. I don't - it's for the best. I'm not in love with him anymore. But I'm sad that I'm not in love with him anymore! And of all the 20 children at the party, my DS is the only one whose parents aren't together anymore.
I just never thought I'd be in this position. And I'm not sure why I am quite this sad!