New Year Approaching

[AmIthatTinselly]

I have been having some contemplative moments tonight and realised that it is nearly 10 years since I have been with a man

10 years since I've had sex
10 years since I have held someone other than DD's hand
10 years since someone (other than DD) has kissed me
10 years since I have had anyone care about me or what I'm doing

Well, if I could scoot back 10 years I would have been fucking depressed to think that this was what my future held

What can I do.

I am feeling sorry for myself actually

I work FT in a demanding job
My beloved DD sees her father about three times a year, for a couple of days each time, so no regular weekends off for me

Beloved DD has ASD and ASN, so my parenting is that of the mother of a toddler, even though she is a teen

I am knackered all the time

I would love to have an OH to whinge about. Some people should count their blessings

Haha would like a nice man gift wrapped under my own tree. I'm single about the same time as the last poster. Had a one night stand at one point, which was AWFUL! It didn't even actually count as actual sex. Lots of my friends say oh any men but lots of my single friends don't bother inviting me out. It actually makes me feel quite angry. We lone parents are apparantly not invited to things. Maybe because we're out of touch with socialising. It's exhausting when I go out sometimes - after finally getting kids to sleep & looking for adult conversation- and people look at me all panicky and say 'where are the kids?' I just joke and say I left them at home but they're asleep and they'll be fine by themselves. We are put into a box by single people. The 'lone parent' box. As if we couldn't possibly have anything in common with them. Then if I say anything interesting about the things that I'm doing, people can look really surprised. I'm also really tired of the 'pity' look if I complain about the smallest thing.

I think in the New Year, I am going to socialise more, do things for myself more, do more of the work that interests me, join a yoga class (I do like yoga but Im thinking more that there might be a fit yogi guy to be found there?). Or a meditation class...

Above all, I'm going to be clear thinking and pro-active and not get bogged down in negative thinking

I manage to stay positive most of the time. Had a wobble
last night. I think the approach of Christmas and new year just got to me a bit. fine now though. O