when to tell possible new man am a mum?

[RitaFajita]

A guy at work and I have been emailing a little. He has made it clear to a mutual friend he is interested in me.

He works in a different department alongside mutual friend. I don't know the mutual friend that well so she probably doesn't know I'm a mum.

We've only exchanged a few emails so far last week. When he asks what I've done this weekend, is it too soon to mention my child?

Obviously I wouldn't go for long without telling him. I'm a proud mum and love talking about my DD! Nor would it be fair on him, if this came to anything he would need to know she comes first.

This may come to nothing anyway and its so nice having this little bit of excitement and attention, just as Rita not mum if you see what I mean.

Is it OK do you think to enjoy the flirtation for a little while to see what happens first before I mention my DD?

Hope this doesn't sound awful!!

Not worried at all about him being like that, I meant in general. Buy I've gone off topic.

He's back tomorrow has been off last couple of days so am hoping for an email at some point

For me, my kids are my family just the same as a mother is family. A potential guy in your life might not feel comfortable talking to you straight away about the fact that he has a father who's very sick or an alcoholic mum or a bizarre aunt who comes on to him at family functions. It's family. I'm very protective of my kids and I don't talk about them to everyone and his dog. I don't see it as a dating handicap. If anything it's an advantage. We are caring people. Robust, patient, strong. We have experience of having children. It doesn't make us the lepers of the dating world, although some people (and tabloids) I'm sure would like to make it so. Tell him whenever you feel comfortable telling him and not a minute sooner. The same as him. He will tell you all about his psycho ex or his lunatic brother or his cute little nephew that he adores as soon as he fucking well feels like it. It's your personal life.

Thanks Snoopy well said.

PS meeting him tomorrow night. Yikes!

Ooh!

Enjoy!

I'm jealous. I have my eye on someone and am dying for him to ask me out but it's true that if he actually did ask me out, I'd be totally nervous!

Let us know how it goes :-)

Update, OP?

Didn't mention it, we didn't really talk about families etc.

Had great evening, he's great fun and great company but I don't think I fancy him.... can attraction grow do you think? Or is either there or it isn't?

I didn't fancy a guy I met at first but he was lovely so saw him again. Been together nearly 18 years now .`

Thanks Toffee, wow that's great

I think having great evening, great fun & great company sounds like a good start! What is it about him that you don't fancy?

I'm struggling to answer that now which must be a good sign

He has a goatee which I don't like, but maybe one day he might shave it off! Also he's bald (which I like) but would look so much better if he shaved the hair he has got left at the back and sides off.

But he is lovely and funny and I'm looking forward to going into work tomorrow so can see him

Oh God that sounds awful! At some point though you'll be able to give him a nice razor as a present ;-)

Saw him today and knew for sure there was no way I'd want more than friendship.

Re my original post, did mention my DD over the weekend and he was absolutely fine with it!

Ah that's a shame! Could you not just tell him that you love men with no hair at all hint hint

Funnily enough, he's shaved a lot of his head hair right back. Wonder if he's a secret lurker on MN?

Ah Rita! Where are we going to find decent men that we fancy? Where do ppl meet nice guys anyway?

I think there are probably more of them (nice guys) about than we realise (in all sorts of places) and that we need to be open to possibilities.

I'm really starting to be interested in this guy now and I had been very close to writing him off because I didn't fancy him at all at first.

Maybe the trick is not for us to find nice guy, but wait to be found....