STBEXH lying about how often he sees DC

[UterusUterusGhali]

Ex and I separated at the beginning of the year.

I've only just contacted the csa as he dropped the money giving me and I don't trust him to declare earnings.

Thing is, he's told the CSA he has them 3 nights a week. This is untrue. He has them one and his parents have them sometimes.

He says that if he chooses to foist them on his folks that's still him having them and no different from me sending them to school.

Because he paid a solicitor to write down the days he WANTED them (although he has no intention of seeing them) the csa say they believe that over my word. Although its bollocks.

What do I do!?

Difficult one.

Do you need the help by the grandparents (for work etc)? Do you take the children directly to the grandparents or do you drop them of with ex and he takes them to grandparents? If it is the latter I guess it could be argued that he is arranging his own child-care while he has custody. If not, then you are arranging child-care (and enabling a relationship with the other side of the family).

Do you have a court order in place? If not then you can withdraw contact a bit. But not always a 'nice' thing to do, and may result in drawn out legal battles. Always best to try to find an amicable way around things.

If you don't need the grandparents could you let them go to their dad's once a week as per usual and re-apply to the CSA in a few weeks time? Sorry, don't really have a clue how CSA works.

Get a solicitor of your own to write a letter back? Should think it is a few quid well spent? I should have thought unless it is a court order that the CSA are taking the mick and lodge a complaint with them.

Thanks.

It's both. Sometimes I take them to gp but quite often they will tell me he actually gave them to his parents.

I can't afford a solicitor.

Get a free 30 minutes for a solicitor.

Ring up the CSA and tell them that he does not have them these days, he has them one day a week. You give the children to the Paternal GrandParents on your time and he is lying.

A letter shouldn't cost that much!

XP told the CSA he has DD two nights every other weekend not one as originally indicated, as his knowledgeable girlfriend of the moment informed him that two nights instead of one would reduce his monthly payment to me quite considerably. True - the payments reduced by £60.

I contacted the CSA to tell them that this was in fact not true, DD stayed one night. To which I was told that I would have to go through the courts to prove my claim.

I can't afford the monies involved in solicitors and court action, so my CSA payment remains at the reduced amount.....and the irony of it all is that DD no longer stays the night, she spends a short day with him every other weekend.

I digressed a little - sorry, my point being I was told court action or no action.