H saying he will only have dd's one at a time

[ladypanbanisha]

Can he do this ?

We agreed one night in the week for him to have dd's ( 9 and 12) . They squabble a lot and he has always struggled with both of them. He wants one at a time for one night in the week and both together every other Saturday for the night . He says he could not cope with both every other whole weekend.

He says he will get quality time with each. We have been split a couple of months and he has not had them for the night yet. He thinks as I am female I should not have the right to make decisions. He has not paid any maintenance yet.

I have a solicitors appointment in a couple of weeks but wanted to know if theis one at a time thing was reasonable ? It means I don't get a proper break very often but he says I chose to leave so that is my problem.

It never fails to surprise me that women who have been abused by there violent /aggressive dh thinks that they would never do it to there beloved children

agree it is a cop out for him but how much can you force dc onto him? does that work in dc best interest? what do dc want?

my ex sees dc separately for diff reasons and one wont see him. there are lots of issues around contact and it isnt easy.

in itself it isnt a big deal for your case as they will also see him together one day - also it's early days so you will have a few months of working out what works for the DCs. eg if he actually sticks to thearrangement.

they are older children and diff interests so it might work quite well - and the other child could go see a friend if you wanted the time off free of paying a babysitter...

it can be sold as quality time for each child.

if you can go along on trial basis for three months then review might be better than going straight in and saying "no".

My ex asked for this too. Absolute clueless arse !!! Asked me how would he manage taking them both out for two hours after school, what if the younger one got tired or played up ? I don't know knobber, 'deal with it' springs to mind! This is from the son of a man who proudly announced he 'didnt do nappies' while his wife was beside him up to her arms in baby sh*t!