SO fed up

[howmuchworse]

I've just about had enough of this LP business. Sick of chasing around, being so busy, trying to be all things to all people and getting no thanks for any of it.
I should just piss off like XH did, see them now and then and throw money their way.
They still love him as much as they do me and I'm sick and tired of all the work.

How long have you been a LP?

The novelty of the absent parent does wear off, kids aren't stupid they can see which parent is making all the sacrifices and is there for them loving them.

Do you have friends or family to help with childcare?

My dds & I now have our own routine & life's pleasant, it is relentless & I would love to hand over responsibility to someone else occasionally, but those times I tell myself that this too shall pass.

It's been 10 years, so you would think I would be ok with it by now wouldn't you! But everything just grinds me down. The DC are older than many on here, which means teenage moods and issues etc to contend with. Have been on the teenage boards, but here feels more relevant. I admit though that things are easier in that the DC don't need looking after like little ones do, so the fact that there's no family around is a bit easier to handle. (Both parents passed away.)
Money worries, feeling overwhelmed, lack of someone to talk things through with, these are the main problems I guess?!
Thanks for listening.

I'm only a week into all this so not much usual advice to give. but try and see the positives you gain. when they are much older the kids will know who they could rely on. sure they know now who to turn to when the chips are down. you've had the pleasure (and I know the pain) of seeing them grow and knowing its your good work.

we all need a rant sometimes so just get it out your system. sorry I couldn't be much help

I'm 5yrs in and frankly, I feel broken.

Thanks for replies fuzzy, mini and meg.
Yes, broken is good description.
I am still clinging to the hope that one day the DC will realise who was always there for them etc. But it's looking like that is a fair while off, and I could do with a boost before then! I know I have plenty to be grateful for btw, just needing to vent I guess!

Off on chauffeuring duty now, onward and er, ..onward.

vent away. it always helps I find anyway

oh ye god's. I am nearly three years in. I am having a bad patch too. it is just the unrelentingness of it all. both are off school with diarrhoea today, so we are having a lazy day which will be a relief. ]

god knows where the state would be if the pwc fucked off too. to be fair I chucked him out for violence, and I have the children because he can not cope with them both and I had dc two knowing I would be entirely responsible for his care and upbringing as he had proved too flakey with dc1 but i was still under the misguided belief that he would improve.

the society should be more grateful for us keeping the children rather thaan fucking off like some parents without residence.

I can understand how you are feeling,on the whole i love being a lone parent but the responsibility is huge and can be overwhelming at times.

I have 5 children ranging from 7-20,my 2 oldest have left home and even though i brought them up,was there for them through thick & thin etc...they are like strangers to me now,so heartbreaking as we used to be very close

My younger 3 are with me,i love them/do everything i can for them to provide for them and give them a safe,comfortable and fun childhood yet their dad,who they see rarely is a hero in their eyes and i know,if given the choice,they would far rather live with him. He doesn't want them though.

Hard in so many ways.

Gosh,sorry,that's not very cheerey and supportive but i think it helps to know you are not alone.....

On the positive side,i have started to make time for myself now,you can get tied up in doing everything and your life revolves around your children that you forget that you too are a person with a life to live,just building a few small things into my own life (i have a part time job now that gets me out & about),joining clubs or arranging to meet a friend for a coffee really does help to make you feel more balanced.

Hope things improve for you.