I'm in Scotland and had to get a contact order. It wasn't a nice experience.
My children were 11 and 9 at the time but had spent all of their lives being messed about by their dad so it was decided that contact would stop until he came up with a contact schedule that suited the kids.
Contact stopped in the December and from then until April he didn't see them, he did have phone calls but they could be nasty at times.
In April it went to the sheriff court, the Sheriff decided that the children needed someone to act for them so they were given a Curator.
she came to see us and spoke to the children on their own, asking what they wanted and how often.
It was decided at that point that they wanted to see him one weekend every 4 weeks.
It went back to court in the July where their dad wasn't interested in what they wanted just what he wanted, the Sheriff wasn't happy with him but changed it to one weekend out of 3, and gave specific pick and and drop offs.
The drop off and pick up times didn't work as it was his way or his way.
The curator did help a lot as she listened to what my children wanted, even if their dad didn't.
We went back to court again in the November where the sheriff signed off on it but with a view to be fast tracked back into the system if things went wrong.
The contact order helped my children up to a point but in their dads eyes it was set in stone he wouldn't swap weekends or pick up times.
My children are older now and they decide when they will see him, I don't get in the way unless he wont listen to them.
What i struggled with was being told that if I didn't make my children available for contact I could spend the weekend in jail, but their dad could just not turn up and he wasnt accountable for it.
I think in the long term it helped us but it wasn't without a few bumps in the road along the way.
Not sure I've made any sense here but hopefully I have managed to answer some of your questions.