So, the ongoing saga of my ExH's behaviour rolls on .....
He has cut down his times of seeing our DD to every other weekend, Friday evening to Sunday evening. Tonight was supposed to be the first night of the new routine.
He texted me this morning to say he would collect DD after work, but he wasn't finishing 'till 6 pm and didn't know what time he would be round. He works in London and, having worked in the same area as where he works, I knew his journey back would take him at least an hour (he drives there).
I took DD shopping after school, with the promise of having dinner out. We finished our shopping and were in the restaurant for 5.30 - safe in the knowledge (or so I thought) that we'd be finished and home well before 7 pm. Unfortunately the empty restaurant we walked into suddenly got busy when two separate kids' parties turned up around 6 pm, so getting served/getting the bill took longer than I'd anticipated. At 7.10, we're just getting the bill when I get a call from ExH asking where we are, as he's outside the house. So I explained that we were just leaving the restaurant, that service had been incredibly slow and that I'd drop DD straight round to him on the way home (we were half-hour away). He says that's fine.
Get round to ExH's within the time I'd stipulated, drop DD off and leave. All fine, or so I thought .....
Just before 10 pm, ExH calls the house and says DD wants to speak to me. She gets on the phone, in tears, saying daddy's being mean and she wants to come home. Basically last Sunday he was meant to be having her but let her down, saying he couldn't see her because he had things to do. Tonight she had asked him what things he needed to do last Sunday that meant she couldn't see him, and he flipped out at her. Then he stormed upstairs, got on the phone to his GF and was slagging me off to her. DD heard him, came upstairs to ask why he was saying nasty things about me, and he flipped out at her again. Which is why she was on the phone to me in tears.
I asked her to put daddy on the phone and tried to explain to him that DD was upset about last Sunday so was bound to ask the reasons why she didn't get to see him. All he kept responding with was "Well, I'm bringing her back because I don't need to explain myself and I won't be spoken to like that by an 8-year-old." After trying to reason with him further that he needed to respect her feelings of upset (with him shouting at DD who was crying in the background), I realised it was fruitless and said to bring her back to me then. He drove her round, dropped her at the pavement and just drove off again. DD was absolutely distraught.
He texted me a little while ago to say in future I should respect that he will be having her from 7 pm on a Friday and that he will expect her to be back with him by 8.30 tomorrow morning. I've texted him back to say I was not planning to be out so late with her tonight, the situation was out of our control, and that she is too scared to go back to him in the morning. I said when he's able to speak to DD calmly and reasonably, she'll be happy to see him (I don't actually believe that after seeing the state she was in when she returned, but I'm hoping after a good night's sleep, she'll feel a bit calmer). Of course, he's turned his phone off (he does that at night so I can't contact him in an emergency), so I haven't been graced with a response as yet, but will no doubt get some further vitriol in the morning.
Why, oh why, is he being such a twat? He's steadily burning his bridges where DD's concerned and, whilst I used to encourage DD to see him because I didn't want their relationship to break down, I cannot pack her off to him if he's going to upset her like that again.