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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Self indulgent sadness!

3 replies

LauWoo · 15/11/2013 23:28

Hello there, I hope I don't go off on one too much...I just needed to vent a little as I feel vulnerable and don't feel comfortable openly talking about this with the people around me. This doesn't even necessarily require advice as such although I would like to hear from anyone who can relate to what I am saying.

To cut a long story short, I gave birth to my first child in May of this year. Sadly the little one's father had long gone after lying to me and deceiving me, it was impossible to stay together and he has had no contact since. That's ok, I do not want him anywhere near my child as he would ruin her as much as he tried to me! So the pregnancy was traumatic emotionally as i grappled with a break up and facing parenthood alone. So I'm a single mummy at 29 years of age and, despite not planning to have children, I am loving it. My little person is the light of my life.

I have someone in my life, a friend, who I have grown closer to but I feel I am carrying a lot of damage from my ex. It is not the right time to get into a relationship at the moment but even the addition of a romantic interest is enough to have my head spinning. I question this person's motives. I will not venture into any relationship now until a) my little one is older and b) I trust the person implicitly as he will be taking on myself and my treasured child.

Nevertheless I am upbeat most of the time and have so much respect for single parents out there, it's hard but hugely rewarding. I face a newly evolving situation with finances once I return to work but that is for another day :D

OP posts:
agnes2404 · 17/11/2013 11:10

I don't think you are being at all self-indulgent, you seem very positive and strong to me. Well done for pulling it together after a really tough time, so admirable! Re the romantic interest, perhaps the mother bear in you is not about to let anyone close to her cub!

starlight1234 · 17/11/2013 17:37

I have never had the confidence to step out again after my ex...I can't trust myself to not make another huge mistake and my son be damaged...
That said they are so much more adaptable younger and accepting of change ..Its sounds like you know you aren't ready though

PennyroyalTea · 17/11/2013 21:57

It all sounds very healthy and sensible to me LauWoo, no rush to get into a relationship, your LO will be Number One, Two and Three in your life for a long time yet I reckon!

I can relate to much of what you're going through, my situation was similar but I stumbled along with half my partner until DD was a few weeks old, when really I should have realised he would never be there for either of us, and kicked him into touch well before giving birth (which happened in June)...still, we live and learn! I also have a 'returning to work' situation that can wait!

Sounds like you're doing brilliantly, and I couldn't agree more; so much respect for single parents, it is so tough, and so rewarding x

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