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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Anyone else single, pregnant and wanna chat?

6 replies

Eternity84 · 22/10/2013 13:37

Hi... I'll try not to go too indepth with my situation...

I am 28, my eldest is 10, I also have a 7 yr old and a 2 yr old.
The eldest 2 have no contact with their father, I was very young when met him. I was on my own a long time with them 2 then I met my 2 yr olds Dad, he moved in and our DS was planned, when I was 6 months pregnant he walked out, to top if off DS was born with Down Syndrome, undiagnosed until he was 2 days old. He has continually made life hell threatening court, we've been to mediation. We now have a meeting point for handover, have very little communication but DS still sees him regularly.
Anyway after 2 years on my own, April this year I meet a guy, it was just casual but was so nice to have some attention, first nights out in years when DS was with his Dad and older 2 at friends or with babysitter, really felt like I was living life again. In May I find out I am 3+4 weeks pregnant, I tested as I just instinctively knew... I was on the pill and booked to have the coil fitted. Was devastated, I know how bad that sounds :(
I had only met the guy weeks before, he was torn between saying baby not his to he would be there for us. I hadn't slept with anyone since my DS Dad 2 years before so no paternity concerns, not from me anyway lol.
Anyway I was torn what to do... but deep down knew I couldn't terminate so here I am 5 months pregnant with baby number 4 and single again!!
The current "ex" has gone from being supportive and never walking away, even if we not together to hating me, can't stand to be near me, threatening to commit suicide. I have ignored him for the last 3 weeks but dread bumping into him.

On top of this when my 2 yr olds Dad found out I was pregnant he called social services and reported me to benefits for benefit fraud!!
Social services visited and said closing case, and took it as just a malicious call, benefits on the other hand, I have tried to explain it was a casual relationship, and he wasn't living here, been to compliance interviews so waiting to hear the outcome.

Sounds such a drama writing it all down!! I am just dreading how to arrange contact when baby born, whether this guy is gonna step up and how I'm gonna cope with 4 kids, when my 2 yr old doesn't even walk or talk yet!!

So I'm wondering if any ladies would like to talk, inbox if you can, new to Mumsnet and chat. Esp if pregnant and single as be nice to talk to ladies in same position. Any questions fire away. Just hope to talk to new people x

OP posts:
bluebeardsbabe · 22/10/2013 22:16

Just wanted to send a hug and say you can do this. Hopefully a few others will be along. Last year when I was single and pregnant we got a really good long thread going (had a different nickname then).

Take care.

kelly21 · 23/10/2013 08:29

hi am 22 i have a 3 yo abd i am 28 weeks pregnant after a horrible time with my daughters dad i finally thought i had found somone decent up until a few weeks ago i find out he was telling me some pretty big lies and also takes drugs i am heartbroken mainly at the thought of bringing another baby up alone and not having somone to share such a special time with

Eternity84 · 23/10/2013 09:35

I understand that feeling. Since splitting up my ex has been a nightmare and I worry about whether we can be civil enough to arrange contact when baby is here. I don't want it overshadowing them first few weeks and don't want the stress. Its gonna be hard on my own doing everything

OP posts:
kelly21 · 23/10/2013 15:19

i just know when the baby is here he will be all nice and want to get back together and knowing me i wont be strong enough to turn him away :(

Eternity84 · 24/10/2013 20:21

That worries me too. Just arranging contact with him worries me. He can't even be civil right now so not sure how we are gonna tolerate each other to be in same room. When we were together I promised he could be at the birth and baby have his surname. My other 3 children have my surname so now feel like I wanna go back on what i've promised even though I know it will cause hell :(

OP posts:
kelly21 · 25/10/2013 11:19

my little one is deffo having my name and he wont be at the birth hes caused to much heartbreak i want giving birth to be peaceful and a special time go with your gut hun dont do anything you will regert

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