Why don't you just fuck off.

[JustMe1993]

I seriously just need to rant

we went to court on the 10th and they decided contact wasn't beneficial for LO and cancelled his application and didn't order any more. he spent the 5 contact sessions that LO's dad had paid for whimpering in fear, hysterical and unsettled which continued for 5 days after even throwing up sometimes.

LO's dad refused to pay for any more sessions in the contact centre (he threatened to kidnap LO) blaming everyone else including the magistrates that LO didn't like him (he's 18 months and he's never been around) He said he was £5,500 in debt because he went to court (I offered him a family based agreement when LO was 3 days old and he said "it wasn't worth the paper it was written on" and took me to court 3 months later) He then said couldn't afford to pay any more as he was going bankrupt and that was that.

I received an email from LO's dad, first time in over a week (he normally goes months without emailing) asking for mediation that he would pay for at £159 P/H and I need to do the "rite" (that's how he spells) thing and go. Yet when I raised the question how can he suddenly afford this yet 10 days ago he couldn't afford £75.50 to see LO I just get shit saying how he's never going to give up and I need to do what's best for LO despite the fact I've looked after him from day 1 and he's done nothing but upset him and let him down

he then signs his email with Lo's full name followed by HIS DAD, he does this on practically every email with shit like

(biological dad), ('s dad), (father)

Why the fuck do you do that?!?! I know who you are you idiot, I also know what's best for LO you don't know him from adam. Also stop putting crap like

"I cry myself to sleep every night because of you", "you're doing irreplaceable damage", "you're committing child abuse" it's a fact that you don't sit there and cry, you sit on Facebook or go out drinking you're nearly 40 act your god dam age.

Sounds like it is more about you than LO....What does he want to mediate about? the court has already said it isn't beneficial...I would simply ignore it....It sounds like a child having a tantrum for not getting his own way

OP you have got a very rare court order for no contact, so it must have been bad.

I would not engage in any communication with him or the court may view things differently next time.

If he is unhappy with the descion regarding contact he needs to appeal via the court.

Is this recent communication really about money? if so, can you not just go to the CSA and then you don't need to have any communication with him?

It will always be your fault (and any one else's who stands in the way of him getting what he wants when he wants it) it is a waste of your energy to even think about communicating with him and/or reading what he puts.

If he carries it on you would have grounds for an injunction I am pretty sure. It sounds like harassement.

You have gone through a lot just to protect your child but the court have backed you and that is really good news. Look after yourself now and don't trouble yourself with his rants and dilusion.

Don't know what to say but just want to send you a big fat virtual hug as you sound like you need one xxx

Thank you guys.

He pays CSA because I took him to them and still to this day he stands up in court and says "he can't afford contact because he has to pay CSA which is to much" and because he pays CSA he can't afford contact in the centre but all of a sudden he can afford mediation. He wants to come to my house, me to go to his or a local park because he thinks that's going to make a difference despite the fact he's threatened to kidnap LO and I keep saying no.

The courts said "We can't do anything more for you, the courts have made things worse and we can't order any more contact as it's not beneficial to LO and we can't force a child to like somebody, maybe one day when LO is older you can try again but we're not ordering any more contact" from that he took "we have to sort contact out ourselves and I have to do what he says and I'm being dismissive in following the courts (when he took me their in their in the first place!)"

He's a general arse. He continued about how I'm stripping LO of his human rights cause obviously LO doesn't have a human right to not be afraid. I've lied to everyone and I NEED to do the 'rite' thing because it'll be less answers for LO when he's older, I've got what I want and not what LO wants

and I "need to understand that he's "never going away!"

I told him last night that he no longer has my permission to use my email address and to stop contacting me and yet he carried on so I simply stated this is harassment and to go away which he hasn't replied to yet.

The thing is I've been to the police on 3 separate occasions because of him, he use to get his friends to follow me around, wouldn't stop emailing me, use to sit outside my mums house etc and they've given him warnings on each occasion but every time I get an email or a phone call saying "the police know you're lying and I'm no threat to you and it was a waste of time but they have to do it I'm not going away" it's getting pathetic. I know where he lives and he knows where my mother lives but doesn't know where I live thank god. He also knows I have an illness (doesn't know which) that is caused by stress and he knows it and still continues to do it.

I just want him to go away he's a loonatic, I've never hated so much of someone in my life. I have no doubt in my mind that he's only doing this because he is still obsessed. Even now he tells me how he loved me and worshipped the ground I walked on etc when we never dated I saw him for about 3 weeks he makes crazy stories in his head about how I left him when I was three months pregnant for no reason when in real life I was three weeks pregnant and his drug addict room mate threatened to kill me and my LO and he went "well she is my best friend"

I hate him -.-

you dont have to be in touch with this man.
court have said no contact.
it is that simple.

cut him out of your life.
you could aska third party like a friend to email him pictures. updates on your child if you like.

get yourself to gp and ask for nhs cousnelling to boost your self esteem.

I'm lucky he doesn't know where I live so he can't come round etc. none of my friends and family will have anything to do with him because he only whittles on about how I've lied to them and he's done nothing wrong and he's not a bad man ect and not about LO.

He thinks he can bully people into doing what he wants and he hasn't learnt that It isn't going to happen.

Thankfully he hasn't emailed me any more and if he does I will just alert the officers on the old case that he's continuing to harass me.

No contact means no contact. Change your email address and don't engage.

I would also suggest change your email address or block him if you can....If you don't simply press delete....Don't read them... they are sent to unnerve you/ manipulate you/

It is like dealing with a child any contact is reinforcement.

He had his own email address I used so he wouldn't have my normal one as well as a separate phone so he wouldn't have my normal mobile but I don't use the phone anymore was thinking about ringing orange and asking them to change the number so he defiantly can't phone me on there? And maybe shut down that email address or apply a bounce back to say it's been shut down?

seems like a good idea.....