Single Dads? Weekend Dads?

[Nitronick]

Isn't it amazing what a bit of random surfing brings up? Started out looking for a recipe for a Christmas cake and ended up reading and joining mumsnet! Which is a bit random as I am most definitely a Dad but a Parent none the less!

Anyone first thing I saw was the lone parent section so decided to have a brief read and it just seems that there is only single mums on here :/

I see my kids (Son 14 Daughter 12) every 2 weeks or so depending on shifts and try to have them for 3 nights. Also took them away on Holiday last year and as a Single Dad on Holiday I almost felt like a freak! Oh there was plenty of single Mums out there who all got chatting and spent time together but I was the only single Dad :( It's funny but it almost felt like people avoided me because of this. When I was married (14 years) and we went away on Holiday always met and chatted to people but as a lone Dad I kinda felt ostracized by lone mums and family groups :( Still had my 2 kids with me so we head a cracking time, Even if they ditched me at every chance to go do their own thing! Thank God for iPod and Kindle!

Anyway, more then a bit excited as got a long weekend and looking forward to my kids coming round direct from school and spending some quality time with them including cooking Christmas Cake (If I can find a decent recipe!) Oh and its me Mums Birthday on Sunday :)

One last thing, reading a few post's on here am I the only Dad who willingly pays for their kids? I often wonder how "men" who have children never pay or have contact with them :/ The Ex-Wife and I may not live together but it dont mean my responsibilities end when I drop them back off to her! If she needs extra help for them and I have a bit of spare cash I buy them clothes etc. I pay their mobile bills and if they need help with anything I am but a phone call away.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a normal bloke reading or hearing about the way other men treat their ex's! I'm still single and certainly have no desire to get into a relationship after the pain of divorce even if it was over 2 years ago.

Right back to looking for a Crimbo Cake Recipe :)

No you're not the only one. Me and my ex (divorced 10+ years) have always split child time 50-50 and been flexible if one of us needs to change eg for work trip.

Money doesn't come into it because of the 50-50 split so no need for either parent to pay the other and cost of clothes/activities etc end up being split roughly equally.

I'm aware that this sadly seems to be a rare minority arrangement.

I hope you have a lovely long weekend with your kids, it sounds great.

this has kinda stated as mums net so has mostly mums...but you very welcome ...

how do you know they single mums?

jsut curious - i took dc on holiday - (center parcs) whenever i saw mother and kids or dad and kids combo i assumed (unless they said something otherwsie) that the other parent was off doing something else ... in that place if i saw you and your dc on your bicycles i would assume mum was in the spa so would not know you were single with kids.

(but if you put a badge on i might approach you? )

No, you aren't the only dad who willingly pays for his kids.

Welcome OP and have a great time making the cake
I think there are lots and lots of wonderful Dad's who pay towards thier children's upkeep and love them to bits and despite not being with the mother as a couple can work out just fine.
I think forums like this attract more difficult situations and that is why people come on to get advice how to deal with it so I don't think it is representative of how things are in RL in proportional term.
The ones with no problems are just living life without problems I guess.
There are obviously other challanges being a single parent, like the one you mention regarding holidays. DS and me have been away lots on our own (and with others) and I always end up talking to people and people to me - being honest I often like the peace of not doing and the quality time with DS. I found that the more we go on our own the more it feels `normal' to me and I guess I may give off a more relaxed vibe.

Welcome.

Definitely not the only dad on mumsnet or in lone parents.

I wouldn't like to hazard a guess at percentages but not you not the only day who willingly engages with and pays towards his children. However in my experience (both real life and mn) you are sadly in a minority.

I wonder how much of your holiday experience was down to your existing preconceptions too. Possibly not all but I would imagine it was a factor.

you don't hear about the ones who pay as they are not moaned about. At least not the paying anyway.

I like Delia Smith's Christmas cake recipe and the one on BBC Good Food website www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2607642/make-and-mature-christmas-cake ...HTH!

And as a single Mum with a non-paying, non-caring ex am pleased that you are different and love your kids...not just on facebook but in real life!!

Have a good weekend

I think sections like this can give a one sided view because most people post on here asking for advice when there's problems with their ex. People don't tend to post if everything's OK as it's mostly used for support.

You don't see your children very much. I think mumsnet shows a very true representation of what it is like for single mothers. They do all the child care, and this is true in your case too op. I don't know any women who don't do pretty much all the child care, have had to sacrifice their careers, pay almost entirely for the children and have to work their lives around when the father feels like seeing the kids.