my ex is being a dick

[Hedgehog42]

I only joined MN to talk to someone about this (total newbie so I don't know abbreviations sorry).

My ex husband is a complete dick. He is telling anyone who'll listen that I'm preventing him from seeing our child.

He suddenly stopped contact 4 months ago and I've barely heard from him since. He stuck a card with £20 in throughthe door on childs 2nd birthday.

We were married for ten years. I accept that he doesn't care about us any more but I'll be damned if he's going to lie about it to make himself look better.

What would you do?

I would ignore him and let people think what they like, you can always set them straight when you get the opportunity. The guy sounds like a dick. Get on with your life and accept him for what he is. You have the joy that is your child. You will both be fine and he will be the loser. Honestly, do not waste any of your precious headspace or emotions on this waste of space.

Thanks, I know you're right. It was him making all the "lets stay friends for son's sake" noises....what I really want to do is twonk him round the head with a frying pan. But the law is an ass.

I think its the unfairness that's driving me nuts. I am also told by same joint friend that he is on the phone A LOT, am guessing he has a new gf, but dont know.

I know it's probably really hard bit if he does have a girlfriend let her have him. He sounds like a real catch! Honestly, you've seen this mans true colours. He's a knob and you will eventually meet someone fab who loves you on the way you deserve. Try to ignore and get on with making your life wonderful.

I'm quite new here too and separated from husband last August, he's been with new gf and her two young children for 8 months now and is selfish and spineless and barely bothers with our daughter who is 11.
I too want to twank him round the head with a frying pan! But what's the point? He's spread all sorts of lies to his family and friends that I am poisoning and manipulating our daughter yet she knows he doesn't give a shit about her (which is the hardest thing to deal with)
Here if you need an ear, have recent CSA joys too if that helps, but like others have said, they aren't worth wasting our time over, we were with them a long time agreed, but why waste some of our single life wasting time on them now?!!! :)

OP my DS is 8 now.... he has never met my ex, my ex did the same thing. I bumped into a friend of his when DS was 2 and they asked me when I was giong to let him see DS.
Fast forward 5 years, he takes me to court and says he only just found out about him.
People who tell lies are very dangerous and will continue to tell them. Rather than worry about what he says because it hurts you now, make sure you have all the evidence you can of how you offered him contact and he has refused - not for general people but if he takes you to court. They can take you at any point and turn yours and your DC's life upside down as and when they choose - the law is an ass as someone put.

What you do is you send him an email about contact arrangements. Do not refer to any of the rumors you have heard about what he is or is not telling people. Kep it com and factual.
State that you wish to get formal contact arrangements in place for your daughters sake as you realize how important their relationship is. Make some suggestions e.g 1 overnight a week and every other weekend. Ask him to confirm by a certain date if these arrangements suit.
Call his bluff. Document everything.