Exp wants to change contact arrangements

[17leftfeet]

At the minute he has them alternate weekends

We had a disagreement and now out of spite he wants to change this to 2 weekdays

It's spite because I work alternate weekends and it would totally drop me in it for childcare and he knows this

At the moment all arrangements are informal between us

My 12 year old doesn't like going anyway, my 10 yo likes to see his dog

If I say no to the weekdays but continue to offer weekends, would a court laugh him out of the water?

I'm so upset and stressed with all this

is there any benefit to the children?
I would seek alternative arrangements for the children and show it doesn't bother you at all - for few weeks arrange with their friends to have them or family.

two week nights is presumably less time overall. which maybe suits the 12 year old.

the more you can show it isn't bothering you the better

There is no benefit to the dcs at all, they will see him for a few hours after school and will have less contact with their grandparents on his side

I don't think my 12 year old will even go

And long term I can't cover the weekends, god knows I've tried!

So that means I will have to give up my job which is obviously not going to benefit our dcs

would the grandparents take them for theweekend any way? seems daft to give up your job when in two years time you will be able to leave them home alone no probs anyway

Their grandparents aren't able to have them for a full weekend and won't babysit for me, only their son

Has he given any credible reason for the change? Eg work patterns changing? If not then it isn't likely a court would change an arrangement that has been in place a long time and has been working for the DC's.

He has given me no reason what so ever

I can imagine but he won't say

Just say 'no'.

He wont bother taking you to court over it. If he did, they'd laugh at him.

If you say no he may just not have them anyway which puts you in the same position. I don't think he would take you to court but the court system is very one sided and while I understand you would not want a child to be with a parent that does not want them, they can get ordered contact but don't have to take it.
I would put my efforts into finding a new job or alternative childcare so you depend on noone. It doesn't sound like the DC will be concerned about it.

As a res parent it is your responsibility to offer contact..You have been doing..he has given no reason to change it...

Your offer of contact remains the same every other weekend. If he refuses to see them on these grounds should he take it to court will look bad on him he isn't taking contact offered...

You do need to put something in place for the next few weekends though as he may refuse to take them.

try advertising locally for s student older teenager who would be happy to be in your house to supervise the Dc while you out working. do dc have other weekend activities? how much care is actually needed?