I could really do with some help from anyone who has been here, and I guess most of you have or are.
I left my H early this year, he was a controlling bully, sulking to get his own way, always right etc. We had been married over 25 years.
We have 3 DC's, from early teen onwards. Only one lives at home with me.
When we first split, H was distraught, crying, begging, threatening suicide, promising youngest DC they would spend all and every weekend together etc.
Youngest DC really struggled to see his DF like this, he had been a fairly remote DF before this, not often there for any of them either physically or emotionally.
After around 5 weeks exh found AW, and I was told that by him that he was getting on with his life and that DC would have to accept that or not as the case maybe.
All DC's now have some contact with exH but around 3 weeks ago youngest DC had massive arguement with DF about something that DF had given him and as a result they havent spoken till this weekend. DC had apologised to his DF but the apology was not returned by his DF - remember, this man is never wrong!
Last night I had DC in tears, and being a teen I know some of this is because of his age and hormones etc, but he said he misses his DF, how he feels there is a gap where he used to be. But because he is so scared that his DF will go back to talking to him about how sad he was/suicide etc, DC dreads spending time alone with him. DC said he thinks his DF hates him, which I tried to put right.
I cannot talk to exh, he tells me that if DC has something to say or a problem with anything he can tell him direct, not through me and refuses to meet up to try to help him. Exh is telling DC he needs to learn about integrity...!
It also doesnt help that we are in middle of divorce and exh is also refusing to play fair with that either, wanting way more than he is entitled to and not agreeing to half and so DC and I cannot buy a house as money is left sitting with solicitors!
Sorry very long, I just dont know how to help him. He has a lot of friends, I keep in touch with school and they have no concerns, and a lot of the time he seems pretty ok. He will not go to counselling.
Thank you