Ok so I would like my stress levels to be substantially lower. This is long and a rant

[Wickerman]

I am in a cycle of being extremely snappy and irascible with my younger dd who is sick (she is frequently sick). IT IS NOT HER FAULT THAT I AM STRESSED. Need recipe for zen.
The things that are stressing me are these.

1. After working MY ARSE OFF to re-establish my career after workaholic xh refused to let me work, this year looks like it might be my year. HURRAH. But = LOTS OF DEADLINES AND RESPONSIBIITY AND 2)The new nanny I spent weeks finding during the summer over-estimated her driving in UK capabilities, nearly knocked a cyclist over in her first week - I foolishly said I would keep her but without the driving as I felt sorry for her as she had moved a long way and is sweet but now I have 15 hours less childcare a week as I am having to do all the driving for activities and have missed several meetings as a result so I think I still have to sack her and find someone else. I find all the childcare and my xh still uses whoever I find on his infrequent days with the dc.
2. My boiler and hot water have been cutting out intermittently and I have spend over £500 on it in the last week as I have a new lodger and I obvs didn't want her to not have hot water and my dc are both ill now and can't even have a bath.
3. xh is being arsehole refusing to help either with time or logistics or anything saying that it's my choice to work and I could just take the maintenance he pays and not spend it all on childcare.
4. My younger dd is ill AGAIN = no sleep
5. I have just split up with my extremely beautiful bf of 3.5 years as there was a big age gap and it just wasn't tenable longterm My question is this - am I always destined to be on a knife edge of coping, with tears or anger just below the surface? How do I get it together to do the career and kids thing as a lone parent who also works in a risky, freelance, arts based sector? Wanna be chill for my birds. And for myself.

yes find someone else.
or if you think you can trust her again let her drive again.

i
thngs shoould l in theory get asier as kids gt older and more independent

Could getting your Nanny a few driving lessons improve her driving ability so that she can do all of that again? Taking children's activities and driving to and from them off your radar I think would dramatically improve things for you.
I would also book a day off in a few weeks time just for you (this what I do this Friday actually) do minimal stuff if meeting friends for coffee makes you feel good do that, go for a swim what every helps you to chill out do it. I run my own business have the same ExH childcare woes as you and find this time is essential otherwise I would go potty.
Ill child waking in night will pass and you will be less tired.

I'm stressed most if the time too, although think I've less on my plate than you.
Refresher driving lessons for the nanny sounds like a good idea. If she doesn't want to do that and you need to replace her, you know you've done your best for her - I think you've already!

Once you have some space to get used to not seeing your ex, that should help.

Have you tried Bach's rescue remedy? It can take the edge off a bit for me.

I'm worse when premenstrual and the older I get, the longer it lasts. Not sure if that could be a factor for you as well.

I hope things get easier for you. I'm irritable as anything already.... rubbish nights sleep, bad cold, needed at work so have to go in and have nightmare commute to face. That's after the stress of getting DD ready and out at a recent time....

The joys....

Ah I did that, I paid for driving lessons for her when I was away on a work trip but she was still not ready, so I fired her. See new thread for current woes, it HAS to get better than this, I am going crazy.