Mother seeking joint custody - mental health issues

[Rosina73]

Hi. When my 2 children were still babies, I became seriously ill with bipolar disorder, made worse by my violent partner, and was hospitalised for 4 months. During this time we split up and my ex gained sole custody of the children. This was 5 1/2 years ago.
Since then I have gradually improved and seen more and more of the children. I have taken them on holiday with my parents for the last 3 years and used to have them to stay overnight at my flat until I had problems with my neighbour.
In the last 12 months, I foolishly got back with my ex, mainly to spend more time with the children. I stayed over at his house with the children most nights of the week and started to do everything for them. I got them up in the morning, washed and fed them, took them to school, picked them up, played with them, got their tea, read to them and put them to bed. I would buy all the food and clothing, take them out, pay some rent and half the bills. Recently we were talking about me moving in and had booked a holiday for us all to go away, which was paid for by me and the kids grandad (my father).

This summer I took the kids away for 3 weeks on holiday to visit their grandparents. Shortly after we got back, my ex blew up at me and kicked me out of the house, taking all my belongings with me. However, I still came round every day, getting there early to get the kids up and ready for school and I hoped this could continue.
A few days ago, I took the children to the doctors. I reported back to my ex what the doctor had said and he completely lost it. He ordered me out and grabbed a kitchen knife and threatened to kill me if I didn't leave. I was scared for my life and informed the police.
My ex denied everything and blamed me saying that my mental condition was deteriorating. The police dropped the charges and nothing is going to be done.
I have been allowed to see the children for a short while today, but in light of recent developments, I wish to seek joint custody.
I know this is an unusual situation, but are there any mums who have lost custody and managed to regain joint custody? Also, is there anyone with mental health problems who has nevertheless managed to gain joint custody?

I would be grateful for any input on my situation..

Do you have good gp mh team who support you and can vouch for your improvement ?
Is there any evidence of your ex.s behaviour ?

I think it s a difficult one and you need a good solicitor maybe call MIND for advice,

How old are the dc and what do they think ? Are they scared of your ex ?

Thanks for your message . I have had a lot of support from mental health services over the years, but haven't seen a psychiatrist or social worker for a couple of years. My GP is very happy with my condition and has actually taken me off one medication and reduced the dose of the other. I am seeing him once a month to check my progress, so I'm hoping he will back me up.

My ex did get a caution from the police for domestic violence when we lived together and the children were babies. However, when I ended up in hospital after a breakdown I told them about the ongoing violence and nothing was done about it then.

Thankfully the kids (6 and 7) are ok. My ex can put the fear of god into them when he wants to, but he's never hurt them.

My solicitor who dealt with the case when me and my ex split up the first time was pretty good. I've left a message for him to get in touch with me, to get some initial advice on joint custody proceedings.

Just wondering if anyone else has gained joint custody whilst having mental health issues???

Hi, my friend has bpd, and has her dc to stay every weekend. I assume that means she has joint custody of them?

There's no such term as joint custody' in law. Custody' was replaced by terms such as contact' and residence' with the advent of the 1989 Children Act.

If there is no order made with regard to residence for a child in legal terms there is no resident parent. There is such a think as a `primary carer' - someone who cares for the child a majority of the time.

Ahh lostdad, that explains why my friend had never mentioned custody, an I wasn't sure if she had it or not!